I'm laying in bed and I should be sleeping. Instead I'm finally allowing myself let it go and be truly emotional since Tuesday when I got some very big news.
Disney invited me to officially apply for a job with them in Entertainment, and tomorrow I have my phone interview.
I can't tell you how overwhelmed I am by all of this. I'm excited, scared, nervous, so thankful, shocked, overjoyed, and confused.
How did I get here? I don't know how this is actually happening. Despite the fact that I've always had the gut feeling that this is what I'm supposed to be doing, I suppose I let myself believe that there's always a chance that I'd never make it. It's always been my biggest dream. Somehow I'd convinced myself in this little place in my mind that I wasn't good enough. And now I'm trying to fully accept that I actually AM good enough!
All of the tears have been worth it... including the ones overflowing right now as I smile. All of the late nights with my husband talking about my passion for Disney. All of the strange looks I've gotten from some people when they heard me tell them my dream. All of the times I've let my imagination take me away to the moment when I would be told that I actually did it.
And now finally, tomorrow, there's a very good chance that I'll be told that very thing. I don't know how to handle all of this. I mean... it's a dream. You're not supposed to actually achieve them... that's why they're dreams! I'm learning that as cheesy as it sounds, dreams really can come true. I just can't believe it could happen for me.
On top of all of this overwhelmingly joyful feeling, I'm so stressed at the idea of actually moving. It's not the living in Orlando part that makes me nervous. It's not working at Disney that makes me nervous. I just don't know how to get our house sold, pay for movers, find Matt a job, and find an apartment that won't break us... and all in such a short period of time. The cost of living is so different there than it is here in Michigan. The adjustment is going to be tough. I just keep trying to have faith that if it's meant to be, it'll all come together.
Something kinda strange, but I've been thinking about Rapunzel a lot lately. I feel like I relate to her so much more right now than I ever have. Just like Rapunzel, I have imagined what this would be like my whole life. I've done everything I can to get to this point. The part from Tangled that I keep playing over and over in my head is this...
Rapunzel: I've been looking out a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?
Flynn: It will be.
Rapunzel: And what if it is? What do I do then?
Flynn: Well, that's the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.
What do I do once my dream has come true?