*note* I wrote this over the course of a couple of days. Just couldn't bring myself to finish it. I suppose I feel like there is so much left to say.
Less than two months from now I'll be back in the United States and 8000 miles away from Shanghai, China.
How do I feel about this?
How DON'T I feel about this is really the more appropriate question. Overwhelmed, sad, nervous, anxious, impatient, grateful, excited, and ready. I'm so ready.
I've been injured from work (a foot injury) and being home (literally home in my apartment for days, alone) has given me a lot of time to think. Reflect.
I realized today on the metro, on the way to the hospital, that I'm sort of in a place that I don't belong in. Maybe it's the lack of human contact the past few days, maybe it's feeling like Shanghai Disneyland is just done with me, and maybe it's the fact that I'm on my period. Who knows?! Anyway, I can confidently say that Florida is calling my name. While I FULLY intend on coming back to Shanghai Disneyland to work again someday (I feel like I midwifed the crap out of this place), right now I just feel like there are things that need me and want me back in Florida. Things that I need and want.
Now I feel all this pressure to travel, see, feel, smell, taste, touch and experience everything that I can in Asia while I'm still here, because I don't have a guarantee that I'll be back again. It's the most overwhelming feeling that I'm on a countdown to saying goodbye. I do not do well with goodbyes. Daddy issues, I guess you could say. But, there are friends here that I just haven't done enough with. There are places I haven't visited. Here I am with a month and a half to do it all. I can feel myself shutting down under the pressure. THIS is why it sucks not being able to go to work. I think too much. I overthink constantly. That's just my personality.
What scares me is that today when I was coming home from the hospital, as I was about to get on the line 6 train to Jinqiao, my foot started hurting. A deep, throbbing pain. Crap.
There are so many things I'm looking forward to back in the States. It's been almost a year since I've seen most of my family (my brother, Chris and my mom came to visit in September). It totally feels like I left for China just a few months ago. I don't feel like I've been away for 10 months. When I leave here I'll be flying into Detroit, so I will spend some time there with my family before flying to Orlando. Then I'll be getting myself settled in my new place, happily visiting the parks, and seeing my dear friends that I miss so much. April 15th is my birthday and I'm so stoked that I'll be home to celebrate! At the end of April I start back up at Walt Disney World, which I admit I'm quite nervous about. Just getting back into the groove of things will take some time, but my friends are so wonderful and will help me feel at home again in no time.
What I think I'm most nervous about is the almost guaranteed feeling of not belonging anywhere, even when I'm back at home. My friends have changed. My job has changed. My relationships have changed. My apartment is going to be different. My family will have done so many things that I haven't. And of course... I've changed. How does a person not change after the year I've had? Everyone and everything changes because that is life. It's just difficult to know that so many things changed without me. Now I'm going back as this sort of "new" person, and I'm not sure how long it will take for me to feel like I fit in. It was a challenge to adapt to a new life here. One without Matt, my animals, and my long time friends. Some expats might have the experience of going home and finding everything is virtually the same as it was when they left. I already know that so much is going to be different, and some of it will take some getting used to. I just don't want to be stuck in limbo.
I'll end this on a note of gratitude. To those of you that have supported me, sent me happy thoughts, wished me well, put up with me during my most difficult days, celebrated successes with me, and are looking forward to the day we're reunited... thank you. A goal of mine for 2017 is to be more connected to those that care about me. Going through some heartbreaking things caused me to close myself off and withdraw for a couple years. I was embarrassed, clueless, and afraid. Luckily, I can say I'm not ashamed anymore. I didn't always make the right decisions every time, but I am learning to be more fully aware of my missteps and forgive myself. Forgiveness was definitely the theme of 2016.
Deep breath.
Okay, 2017. I'm ready for you. :)
Monday, February 13, 2017
Sunday, November 6, 2016
Sacrifice
Lately when people have been asking how I am it's pretty difficult to answer the question. A shoulder shrug seems to be the most accurate. It varies from month to month, week to week, day to day, sometimes minute to minute. It depends on what is on my mind at any given second. It depends on how dark the cloud is over me on any given day. No answer seems to be a good one.
I struggle with not wanting to come across as thankless and hopeless, while also wanting to be honest in that moment. We can be totally honest and say that my life could be so much worse. I could be so much unhappier than I am right now. Still, that doesn't seem to be the point of the question, "How are you"?
I live in China. Some days that's pretty interesting and exhilarating. Other days it's frustrating and debilitating. I'm also going through a divorce. There are times that I see hope and a bright light at the end of the tunnel, and other moments I feel as though it could not get any worse. The dark cloud follows me wherever I go, though I sometimes forget that it's there. I look forward to a day when that cloud goes away completely and I can feel whole again.
My brokenness comes from the things that I miss. The things that I long for. I long for the seemingly little things in life. Things like road trips with my best friends, dancing in the living room with my nieces, long talks with my mom in her living room, walking through Epcot at night, cuddling my dog when I wake up in the morning, kissing my cat on the head over and over again until he gets annoyed, listening to my vinyl records while sipping coffee, and driving around Disney World property on a sunny day.
Suppressing my hurt can only last for so long before it all comes out full force. To be honest, what has been bothering me most lately is knowing that people that matter to me have judged me, disconnected from me, and disregarded my feelings without being fully aware of certain truths and actualities. I keep a lot to myself, and for that I am fully responsible. That being said, the consequences of my silence have bubbled up to the surface. My health fails me frequently, both physically and mentally. I'm challenged some days just getting myself out of my apartment.
What I find so interesting is the notion that I "deserve" this pain because "I chose this." I'm fully aware that I chose to pursue things that enriched my life, challenged my existence, and ultimately sacrificed things that mean a lot to me. Life is full of tough choices, and at one point in my life I was given the choice of living a lie forever, or sacrificing things in order to make a better future for myself. There was no way out, and there was certainly no easy solution. There hasn't been one second that I've wondered if I did the "right" thing. But there have certainly been many moments when I've wished for it all to not be so damn hard.
Every single day I'm so grateful that I have Disney in my life. Disney isn't a certain place, character, or movie. For me it's a feeling of belonging and nostalgia. Even on my worst days, Disney has always been this thing in my life that's allowed me to feel hopeful about the future and thankful for the past. What a wonderfully positive way to unite so many people from around the world together. Even here in China where things could sometimes not feel more polar opposite than what I'm used to, there seems to be a common appreciation of magic that is building every day.
As I proofread this emotionally driven blog post I've just written, I've stopped crying and I'm now at a place of peace. Things won't always be this hard. The dark cloud won't always be over my head. Perhaps a year from now I'll look back on this night and be thankful for the darkness, because I'm sure it will help me appreciate the light.
I struggle with not wanting to come across as thankless and hopeless, while also wanting to be honest in that moment. We can be totally honest and say that my life could be so much worse. I could be so much unhappier than I am right now. Still, that doesn't seem to be the point of the question, "How are you"?
I live in China. Some days that's pretty interesting and exhilarating. Other days it's frustrating and debilitating. I'm also going through a divorce. There are times that I see hope and a bright light at the end of the tunnel, and other moments I feel as though it could not get any worse. The dark cloud follows me wherever I go, though I sometimes forget that it's there. I look forward to a day when that cloud goes away completely and I can feel whole again.
My brokenness comes from the things that I miss. The things that I long for. I long for the seemingly little things in life. Things like road trips with my best friends, dancing in the living room with my nieces, long talks with my mom in her living room, walking through Epcot at night, cuddling my dog when I wake up in the morning, kissing my cat on the head over and over again until he gets annoyed, listening to my vinyl records while sipping coffee, and driving around Disney World property on a sunny day.
Suppressing my hurt can only last for so long before it all comes out full force. To be honest, what has been bothering me most lately is knowing that people that matter to me have judged me, disconnected from me, and disregarded my feelings without being fully aware of certain truths and actualities. I keep a lot to myself, and for that I am fully responsible. That being said, the consequences of my silence have bubbled up to the surface. My health fails me frequently, both physically and mentally. I'm challenged some days just getting myself out of my apartment.
What I find so interesting is the notion that I "deserve" this pain because "I chose this." I'm fully aware that I chose to pursue things that enriched my life, challenged my existence, and ultimately sacrificed things that mean a lot to me. Life is full of tough choices, and at one point in my life I was given the choice of living a lie forever, or sacrificing things in order to make a better future for myself. There was no way out, and there was certainly no easy solution. There hasn't been one second that I've wondered if I did the "right" thing. But there have certainly been many moments when I've wished for it all to not be so damn hard.
Every single day I'm so grateful that I have Disney in my life. Disney isn't a certain place, character, or movie. For me it's a feeling of belonging and nostalgia. Even on my worst days, Disney has always been this thing in my life that's allowed me to feel hopeful about the future and thankful for the past. What a wonderfully positive way to unite so many people from around the world together. Even here in China where things could sometimes not feel more polar opposite than what I'm used to, there seems to be a common appreciation of magic that is building every day.
As I proofread this emotionally driven blog post I've just written, I've stopped crying and I'm now at a place of peace. Things won't always be this hard. The dark cloud won't always be over my head. Perhaps a year from now I'll look back on this night and be thankful for the darkness, because I'm sure it will help me appreciate the light.
Saturday, October 1, 2016
An Update From Shanghai
I'm exactly half way through my contract with Shanghai Disneyland today! Six months down. Six to go.
Some of you are probably wondering why on Earth I haven't been blogging about my experience here in China. There are a lot of reasons, and if you've followed my blog since the start in 2009, you'll know that I go through phases in my life where I just can't bring myself to blog for one reason or another. About two months ago, I wrote a big post on appreciation and gratitude for everything in my Disney career, and I never actually ended up posting it for whatever reason. I'm sorry if I've disappointed some of you by not blogging about my time here, but just know that I still care about my blog and I have every intention of trying to blog more regularly.
I can start off by saying that the last six months of my life has been a roller coaster. Both my personal and my work aspects of my life have hit extreme highs and lows. While I am generally a private person (says a person that has operated a blog since 2009), I feel like I am in a comfortable place to share with you some things that have been going on. Maybe that could partially explain why I've been absent in blogging, which is something that was once a big part of my life years ago.
Back in May, we started Trial Operations at Shanghai Disneyland. We were finally putting into play all that we'd worked really hard preparing for. It was a really smooth opening overall. Nothing extremely out of the ordinary for a park opening. There were some articles written around this time that painted Shanghai Disneyland in an unfair light, which very much upset me. I felt the need to defend the park. While there will always be negative and difficult aspects to any theme park, especially one that is brand new, what was pulled off in time for Trial Operations, and then Grand Opening, truly blew me away. The park did a 180 from when I did a walk through just a few days before Trial Operations.
The park opened in June and looking back now, I'm really happy with what has been growing and developing over time. A LOT still is being worked out. There are a lot of daily challenges with blending Chinese culture and work ethic, and Disney standards. That's one of the most frustrating parts of this experience, but I also knew what I signed up for when I took this contract. I cannot tell you how THRILLED I am that I'm given the opportunity to bring Disney magic, culture, and high standards to mainland China. It's an actual honor to teach people here about what Disney Parks is capable of. It's a humbling experience to be on that front line. By far, that is my favorite part of my job here. The children here are some of the happiest, most well behaved, and kind-hearted that I've ever met. I get a thrill out of meeting grandparents that are so appreciative of the courtesy and magic given to them.
I admit there was a period of time that I really struggled with feeling like I wasn't wanted at Shanghai Disneyland. That my participation in my job was not valued like I'd desired. And there are still days where I hope for more opportunity to share my talents and passion for Disney with the people of China, but I have learned great patience. Every day I live with a hope that I'll get to be in a position to give more to both guests and my fellow Cast Members. Six months in now and I do feel like I've found a bit of a niche and comfort in my position here. There's more of an acceptance and understanding of what I'm meant to be doing here than I've had before. Simply being here and being a part of the Opening Team is an honor that I probably will not fully be able to mentally appreciate and understand until this experience is over.
There were a few months in my time here that I went through a really low depression. I didn't go out as much. I kept to myself more. I didn't talk to as many people. I didn't connect with people like I usually would. When I did communicate, I felt like no one was understanding me. Existing in China was just a true struggle. My health has been quite poor since I've lived here. Having a viral eye infection for six months now has only added to the difficulties I've experienced here. Me being me, I didn't open up to many people about what I was feeling. When I did, I was either very matter of fact about it, or I broke down. I feel better now about living in China than I have in the past six months. I'm hoping that the next six months have me only increasing in love for Shanghai.
Along with my low points in China life and Shanghai Disney life, I have been learning how to handle a personal difficulty. My husband, Matt, and I are no longer together. We haven't been for a very long time. I've just never spoken on it publicly for a variety of reasons. Matt's very much moved on, and I'm in the process of moving forward. I've learned a lot about myself in this process. I've faced a lot of negative aspects of myself, and at the same time I've seen great strength and patience come out of me that I didn't know I was capable of. Since friends and family have found out, I've encountered more negativity and personal attacks than I anticipated, yet I've also encountered a lot of support, love, and compassion. I feel silly now for keeping my pain a secret for so long. I feel silly for not leaning on those that care about me. It's been a struggle to just accept that people want to help and be there for me. At one point in my life I felt like I was great at communication, and in some ways I am. But this experience has illuminated the ugly fact that I'm not as fantastic at opening up to friends and family as I could be. It's mostly due to lack of trust. A lack of trust that people will understand me and not flee. I've also worried that by opening up, I'd potentially create drama and people would think they have to choose a side. What I've learned is that by not opening up, some people have chosen a side by default. Because I've chosen to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself in a lot of situations, blame is placed whether I agree or not. In the end, it doesn't matter. Matt and I just want to be happy people and live happy lives. All I can do at this point is choose forgiveness, compassion, and self-respect.
If any of you reading this want to say something to Matt or I about this, only kind words will be accepted. All others will be disregarded. There are aspects of my marriage that only Matt and I will ever know the truth about, and I ask that no one make assumptions or jump to dumb conclusions. If you want to be a troll, please take your negative energy elsewhere. I have already encountered hurtful and misguided things said about me from people that know me well, as well as random acquaintances. There's no reason I should have to deal with people that are virtually perfect strangers passing judgement on a life that is simply not their own. My skin gets thicker by the day and I don't need a pity party. This is just a part of life that is making me stronger in the end.
Life in China has given me so many beautiful moments that I'm grateful for. I do very much miss my Florida life. I do very much miss Walt Disney World. Some days I miss it so much that it physically hurts. But, what a great blessing to have something so incredible to long for. For a variety of reasons, I went back to Orlando for about five days last month, and it was the greatest decision. I'm so happy that I got to surprise my wonderful friends and feel their love, drive a car again, eat Taco Bell, watch Netflix without a VPN, see Florida palm trees, and snuggle my incredibly wonderful pets.
There's a song by one of my favorite artists, Mandy Moore, that's titled "Looking Forward to Looking Back." That's truly how I feel about this experience right now. How great it will be to reflect on this time in my life years from now and see both the challenges and the accomplishments as a huge triumph for me.
Thanks for reading this very long blog post, guys! I appreciate it so much! I hope to be able to share more with you very soon. Pictures, stories, etc!
Sending love and positive vibes to all of you!
Some of you are probably wondering why on Earth I haven't been blogging about my experience here in China. There are a lot of reasons, and if you've followed my blog since the start in 2009, you'll know that I go through phases in my life where I just can't bring myself to blog for one reason or another. About two months ago, I wrote a big post on appreciation and gratitude for everything in my Disney career, and I never actually ended up posting it for whatever reason. I'm sorry if I've disappointed some of you by not blogging about my time here, but just know that I still care about my blog and I have every intention of trying to blog more regularly.
I can start off by saying that the last six months of my life has been a roller coaster. Both my personal and my work aspects of my life have hit extreme highs and lows. While I am generally a private person (says a person that has operated a blog since 2009), I feel like I am in a comfortable place to share with you some things that have been going on. Maybe that could partially explain why I've been absent in blogging, which is something that was once a big part of my life years ago.
Back in May, we started Trial Operations at Shanghai Disneyland. We were finally putting into play all that we'd worked really hard preparing for. It was a really smooth opening overall. Nothing extremely out of the ordinary for a park opening. There were some articles written around this time that painted Shanghai Disneyland in an unfair light, which very much upset me. I felt the need to defend the park. While there will always be negative and difficult aspects to any theme park, especially one that is brand new, what was pulled off in time for Trial Operations, and then Grand Opening, truly blew me away. The park did a 180 from when I did a walk through just a few days before Trial Operations.
The park opened in June and looking back now, I'm really happy with what has been growing and developing over time. A LOT still is being worked out. There are a lot of daily challenges with blending Chinese culture and work ethic, and Disney standards. That's one of the most frustrating parts of this experience, but I also knew what I signed up for when I took this contract. I cannot tell you how THRILLED I am that I'm given the opportunity to bring Disney magic, culture, and high standards to mainland China. It's an actual honor to teach people here about what Disney Parks is capable of. It's a humbling experience to be on that front line. By far, that is my favorite part of my job here. The children here are some of the happiest, most well behaved, and kind-hearted that I've ever met. I get a thrill out of meeting grandparents that are so appreciative of the courtesy and magic given to them.
I admit there was a period of time that I really struggled with feeling like I wasn't wanted at Shanghai Disneyland. That my participation in my job was not valued like I'd desired. And there are still days where I hope for more opportunity to share my talents and passion for Disney with the people of China, but I have learned great patience. Every day I live with a hope that I'll get to be in a position to give more to both guests and my fellow Cast Members. Six months in now and I do feel like I've found a bit of a niche and comfort in my position here. There's more of an acceptance and understanding of what I'm meant to be doing here than I've had before. Simply being here and being a part of the Opening Team is an honor that I probably will not fully be able to mentally appreciate and understand until this experience is over.
There were a few months in my time here that I went through a really low depression. I didn't go out as much. I kept to myself more. I didn't talk to as many people. I didn't connect with people like I usually would. When I did communicate, I felt like no one was understanding me. Existing in China was just a true struggle. My health has been quite poor since I've lived here. Having a viral eye infection for six months now has only added to the difficulties I've experienced here. Me being me, I didn't open up to many people about what I was feeling. When I did, I was either very matter of fact about it, or I broke down. I feel better now about living in China than I have in the past six months. I'm hoping that the next six months have me only increasing in love for Shanghai.
Along with my low points in China life and Shanghai Disney life, I have been learning how to handle a personal difficulty. My husband, Matt, and I are no longer together. We haven't been for a very long time. I've just never spoken on it publicly for a variety of reasons. Matt's very much moved on, and I'm in the process of moving forward. I've learned a lot about myself in this process. I've faced a lot of negative aspects of myself, and at the same time I've seen great strength and patience come out of me that I didn't know I was capable of. Since friends and family have found out, I've encountered more negativity and personal attacks than I anticipated, yet I've also encountered a lot of support, love, and compassion. I feel silly now for keeping my pain a secret for so long. I feel silly for not leaning on those that care about me. It's been a struggle to just accept that people want to help and be there for me. At one point in my life I felt like I was great at communication, and in some ways I am. But this experience has illuminated the ugly fact that I'm not as fantastic at opening up to friends and family as I could be. It's mostly due to lack of trust. A lack of trust that people will understand me and not flee. I've also worried that by opening up, I'd potentially create drama and people would think they have to choose a side. What I've learned is that by not opening up, some people have chosen a side by default. Because I've chosen to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself in a lot of situations, blame is placed whether I agree or not. In the end, it doesn't matter. Matt and I just want to be happy people and live happy lives. All I can do at this point is choose forgiveness, compassion, and self-respect.
If any of you reading this want to say something to Matt or I about this, only kind words will be accepted. All others will be disregarded. There are aspects of my marriage that only Matt and I will ever know the truth about, and I ask that no one make assumptions or jump to dumb conclusions. If you want to be a troll, please take your negative energy elsewhere. I have already encountered hurtful and misguided things said about me from people that know me well, as well as random acquaintances. There's no reason I should have to deal with people that are virtually perfect strangers passing judgement on a life that is simply not their own. My skin gets thicker by the day and I don't need a pity party. This is just a part of life that is making me stronger in the end.
Life in China has given me so many beautiful moments that I'm grateful for. I do very much miss my Florida life. I do very much miss Walt Disney World. Some days I miss it so much that it physically hurts. But, what a great blessing to have something so incredible to long for. For a variety of reasons, I went back to Orlando for about five days last month, and it was the greatest decision. I'm so happy that I got to surprise my wonderful friends and feel their love, drive a car again, eat Taco Bell, watch Netflix without a VPN, see Florida palm trees, and snuggle my incredibly wonderful pets.
There's a song by one of my favorite artists, Mandy Moore, that's titled "Looking Forward to Looking Back." That's truly how I feel about this experience right now. How great it will be to reflect on this time in my life years from now and see both the challenges and the accomplishments as a huge triumph for me.
Thanks for reading this very long blog post, guys! I appreciate it so much! I hope to be able to share more with you very soon. Pictures, stories, etc!
Sending love and positive vibes to all of you!
Monday, April 18, 2016
Living in Shanghai
I'm onto week three here in China! I really have no grasp of time anymore. On one hand it feels like I've just come into the city, since there is so much I need to learn and explore, and on the other hand I feel like my arrival into Shanghai was months ago.
I finally made it to IKEA to get some essential items, as well as things to personalize my apartment. Taking a taxi back to my apartment from IKEA was quite hilarious. My new friend, Sarah, came along on the adventure with me. We both had many large IKEA bags filled with goodies, and I had a giant canvas to carry. I'm sure it was humorous for locals to see two white girls riding the struggle bus.
Yesterday, I ventured out into the city more than I have since I've been here. I took the Metro all around Shanghai. Stopping by the fabric market was really exciting! There are rows of vendors asking to make things for you. I'm already planning on having a few dresses made at an incredibly reasonable price. Next, I stopped and got a gourmet grilled cheese sandwich and the most delicious cinnamon roll I've ever had in my life. Minutes after devouring my roll, I stumbled upon a mall with about a million levels. We definitely don't have malls in the States like they have here in Shanghai.
I am hoping that with a few more Metro trips, I'll feel more confident in traveling around the city. One of my favorite things about the city is how quickly people move. I tend to walk pretty swiftly, so I feel like I fit right in with the pacing here. Walking around the city by myself is something I'm still not comfortable with just yet. Google Maps isn't always that accurate, so you kind of just hope that you're going the right way.
Oh! I absolutely have to mention one of the best parts about living in Shanghai. You can have virtually anything you want delivered right to your door with a minimal fee. There's a website where you can order takeout online from various restaurants in the city, and then a delivery guy on a scooter picks up your food (and beer, or wine, or tequila) and brings it to your place. So. Freaking. Cool.
I also have gotten pretty overwhelmed in grocery stores here in the city. Luckily, I can have groceries delivered to my door, too! I just go online and add things to my virtual shopping cart, select a date and time that I want my groceries delivered to my apartment, and voila! I have groceries waiting for me when I get home from work. Pretty groovy, huh?
Ah, yes. I'm living on easy street. My apartment has some features that totally blow my mind as well. There's a heated toilet seat. There's also a heater on my bathroom ceiling that I can turn on, so when I get out of the shower, I'm not freezing. Genius! My washer and dryer are like a two-in-one kind of deal. I don't know exactly how it works with just one machine, but it does. When a delivery person comes to my building and they need to be let in, they use an electronic panel outside to ring my apartment. I can see a video of them on a little screen, and then I hit a button to unlock the building door for them.
Paying for things is kind of tricky here in Shanghai, and I'm still getting used to it. It seems you always have to be prepared with both cash and payment via apps. Using bank cards is not a big thing here. A lot of places don't even accept cards. Setting up an account on some phone apps is tricky, since some are almost entirely in Mandarin. However, once you have them set up, all you have to do is scan a QR code and put in your password (pin number) to pay. It's SO fast!
This weekend, I celebrated my 28th birthday! I was lucky enough to have an awesome dinner with Mexican food, tequila, and old and new friends on my birthday evening. The next night, I invited the cast over to my apartment for a chill night of Cards Against Humanity. I'm so thankful that I got to celebrate with new and old friends. I have social anxiety sometimes, so I'm encouraging myself to be a little more brave. I have faith that this year in Shanghai will do wonders for me.
I think I've pretty much covered the important and interesting things that I want to share with all of you. I can't divulge much about work, since the park isn't open yet, but I will say that I am very excited for the world to see what so many people have put their heart and soul into for many years now. Every single day, I'm more and more thankful to have the opportunity to be a part of it.
Until next time...
I finally made it to IKEA to get some essential items, as well as things to personalize my apartment. Taking a taxi back to my apartment from IKEA was quite hilarious. My new friend, Sarah, came along on the adventure with me. We both had many large IKEA bags filled with goodies, and I had a giant canvas to carry. I'm sure it was humorous for locals to see two white girls riding the struggle bus.
Yesterday, I ventured out into the city more than I have since I've been here. I took the Metro all around Shanghai. Stopping by the fabric market was really exciting! There are rows of vendors asking to make things for you. I'm already planning on having a few dresses made at an incredibly reasonable price. Next, I stopped and got a gourmet grilled cheese sandwich and the most delicious cinnamon roll I've ever had in my life. Minutes after devouring my roll, I stumbled upon a mall with about a million levels. We definitely don't have malls in the States like they have here in Shanghai.
I am hoping that with a few more Metro trips, I'll feel more confident in traveling around the city. One of my favorite things about the city is how quickly people move. I tend to walk pretty swiftly, so I feel like I fit right in with the pacing here. Walking around the city by myself is something I'm still not comfortable with just yet. Google Maps isn't always that accurate, so you kind of just hope that you're going the right way.
Oh! I absolutely have to mention one of the best parts about living in Shanghai. You can have virtually anything you want delivered right to your door with a minimal fee. There's a website where you can order takeout online from various restaurants in the city, and then a delivery guy on a scooter picks up your food (and beer, or wine, or tequila) and brings it to your place. So. Freaking. Cool.
I also have gotten pretty overwhelmed in grocery stores here in the city. Luckily, I can have groceries delivered to my door, too! I just go online and add things to my virtual shopping cart, select a date and time that I want my groceries delivered to my apartment, and voila! I have groceries waiting for me when I get home from work. Pretty groovy, huh?
Ah, yes. I'm living on easy street. My apartment has some features that totally blow my mind as well. There's a heated toilet seat. There's also a heater on my bathroom ceiling that I can turn on, so when I get out of the shower, I'm not freezing. Genius! My washer and dryer are like a two-in-one kind of deal. I don't know exactly how it works with just one machine, but it does. When a delivery person comes to my building and they need to be let in, they use an electronic panel outside to ring my apartment. I can see a video of them on a little screen, and then I hit a button to unlock the building door for them.
Paying for things is kind of tricky here in Shanghai, and I'm still getting used to it. It seems you always have to be prepared with both cash and payment via apps. Using bank cards is not a big thing here. A lot of places don't even accept cards. Setting up an account on some phone apps is tricky, since some are almost entirely in Mandarin. However, once you have them set up, all you have to do is scan a QR code and put in your password (pin number) to pay. It's SO fast!
This weekend, I celebrated my 28th birthday! I was lucky enough to have an awesome dinner with Mexican food, tequila, and old and new friends on my birthday evening. The next night, I invited the cast over to my apartment for a chill night of Cards Against Humanity. I'm so thankful that I got to celebrate with new and old friends. I have social anxiety sometimes, so I'm encouraging myself to be a little more brave. I have faith that this year in Shanghai will do wonders for me.
I think I've pretty much covered the important and interesting things that I want to share with all of you. I can't divulge much about work, since the park isn't open yet, but I will say that I am very excited for the world to see what so many people have put their heart and soul into for many years now. Every single day, I'm more and more thankful to have the opportunity to be a part of it.
Until next time...
Monday, April 4, 2016
Three Days in Shanghai
I am blogging from Shanghai, China. Do you know how weird that is for me to type that? I live in China. Something I never thought I'd say. I still don't think it's all sunk in yet, even after less than three full days.
I just wanted to quickly summarize what this journey has been like for me so far. I know lots of people are anxious to hear, and I'm anxious to tell you.
First off, I have to make this brief because I need sleep. That is a hard thing to get lately. I have to get used to the time change, as well as fitting things into my schedule. It's crazy. It's chaotic. It's awesome. Seriously. I've gotten 2 hours of sleep, then 4 hours of sleep, then about 5 hours of sleep. Maybe, I'll get 6 hours tonight. My left eye is bloodshot and I'm losing my voice.
The long flight from Toronto to Shanghai? It was chaos for a little bit. Between someone sitting in my seat and having to fight the language barrier for the first time, to sassy flight attendants, to my vegetarian meals not getting confirmed with the flight crew ahead of time, you can say it was a bit stressful. It was long, yes. But, that wasn't the hardest part by any means. I think if I had a choice, I wouldn't fly Air Canada again.
Unpacking was actually really nice. I love my apartment so much. My closets, my kitchen, and my bathroom are the highlights for me. It's REALLY hard for me to not have my apartment feel like a home yet. I want cupboards and a fridge stocked with groceries. I want art on my walls. I want my own pillow. I want to put my personal touch on everything. I keep pressuring myself to do it all very quickly. This is a real problem for me.
I can't tell you how hard it is to not speak the language here and try to do virtually anything. I feel like I'm a toddler and I need other adults to tell me how to do things. Grocery shopping, riding in a taxi, crossing the street, going to a restaurant, using my phone... all things that have confused me or frustrated me. It's mostly trial and error. Which means a result of a lot of wasted time and money, potentially. There is a learning curve, but I'm a know-it-all at times and I like to be in the know. Drives me nuts to feel so stupid.
Work is my saving grace. I know Disney. I am familiar with Disney. It's my safe haven. This park in Shanghai is going to be incredible and I'm stoked to be a part of it's grand opening team.
Okay, time for bed!! Chat soon!
I just wanted to quickly summarize what this journey has been like for me so far. I know lots of people are anxious to hear, and I'm anxious to tell you.
First off, I have to make this brief because I need sleep. That is a hard thing to get lately. I have to get used to the time change, as well as fitting things into my schedule. It's crazy. It's chaotic. It's awesome. Seriously. I've gotten 2 hours of sleep, then 4 hours of sleep, then about 5 hours of sleep. Maybe, I'll get 6 hours tonight. My left eye is bloodshot and I'm losing my voice.
The long flight from Toronto to Shanghai? It was chaos for a little bit. Between someone sitting in my seat and having to fight the language barrier for the first time, to sassy flight attendants, to my vegetarian meals not getting confirmed with the flight crew ahead of time, you can say it was a bit stressful. It was long, yes. But, that wasn't the hardest part by any means. I think if I had a choice, I wouldn't fly Air Canada again.
Unpacking was actually really nice. I love my apartment so much. My closets, my kitchen, and my bathroom are the highlights for me. It's REALLY hard for me to not have my apartment feel like a home yet. I want cupboards and a fridge stocked with groceries. I want art on my walls. I want my own pillow. I want to put my personal touch on everything. I keep pressuring myself to do it all very quickly. This is a real problem for me.
I can't tell you how hard it is to not speak the language here and try to do virtually anything. I feel like I'm a toddler and I need other adults to tell me how to do things. Grocery shopping, riding in a taxi, crossing the street, going to a restaurant, using my phone... all things that have confused me or frustrated me. It's mostly trial and error. Which means a result of a lot of wasted time and money, potentially. There is a learning curve, but I'm a know-it-all at times and I like to be in the know. Drives me nuts to feel so stupid.
Work is my saving grace. I know Disney. I am familiar with Disney. It's my safe haven. This park in Shanghai is going to be incredible and I'm stoked to be a part of it's grand opening team.
Okay, time for bed!! Chat soon!
Friday, March 18, 2016
That Feeling
You ever have those moments where you feel like your stress is maxed out and you have no solution?
That's what I'm going through currently.
I leave for China in exactly two weeks. I'm sort of packed. I've not yet bought everything I need to take with me. I'm having to spend money to make money. My husband and pets have no place to live in a few weeks. This all seems like it's blowing up in my face and there's nothing I can do about it.
The truth is that I had this feeling before I moved to Florida. Did it all work out in the end? Yeah, for the most part. The amount of stress I dealt with before the problems were solved nearly killed me, and now I'm having to go through it all again. Only this time I'll have to put out fires from halfway around the world.
I struggled with feeling selfish when I left for Florida. The guilt is painful and debilitating. Now, I'm wondering if accepting this position with Disney in Shanghai is really the best thing to do for everyone. I wish I could just be one of those people who can be content with accomplishing very little. All the trouble my decisions cause makes me feel like it's just not worth it.
It seems like if I get what I want, I hurt people and cause them stress. If I don't get what I want and remain selfless, others seem to be happier and life is easier for those around me. I know I sacrificed my happiness for a lot of years before working for the Company, but maybe Disney World was my one big selfish thing, and maybe I need to just accept that being driven can hurt more than it can heal.
Things might pan out okay for the next year. Everyone might be happy. I really hope that no one will end up resenting me for leaving. I really hope that I don't end up hating myself for the trouble I've caused.
No one ever said it would be easy. I guess this is all just a part of the journey, huh?
"This is why you never should have left! Dear, this whole romance that you've invented just proves you're too naive to be here."
That's what I'm going through currently.
I leave for China in exactly two weeks. I'm sort of packed. I've not yet bought everything I need to take with me. I'm having to spend money to make money. My husband and pets have no place to live in a few weeks. This all seems like it's blowing up in my face and there's nothing I can do about it.
The truth is that I had this feeling before I moved to Florida. Did it all work out in the end? Yeah, for the most part. The amount of stress I dealt with before the problems were solved nearly killed me, and now I'm having to go through it all again. Only this time I'll have to put out fires from halfway around the world.
I struggled with feeling selfish when I left for Florida. The guilt is painful and debilitating. Now, I'm wondering if accepting this position with Disney in Shanghai is really the best thing to do for everyone. I wish I could just be one of those people who can be content with accomplishing very little. All the trouble my decisions cause makes me feel like it's just not worth it.
It seems like if I get what I want, I hurt people and cause them stress. If I don't get what I want and remain selfless, others seem to be happier and life is easier for those around me. I know I sacrificed my happiness for a lot of years before working for the Company, but maybe Disney World was my one big selfish thing, and maybe I need to just accept that being driven can hurt more than it can heal.
Things might pan out okay for the next year. Everyone might be happy. I really hope that no one will end up resenting me for leaving. I really hope that I don't end up hating myself for the trouble I've caused.
No one ever said it would be easy. I guess this is all just a part of the journey, huh?
"This is why you never should have left! Dear, this whole romance that you've invented just proves you're too naive to be here."
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Moving Forward... to Shanghai
First off, thanks to all of you that took the time to read my post about my one year with Disney. After reading it back, months after I wrote it, I realized how emotionally charged I was at that time. I am proud of the fact that I can be so honest and up front about my life down here in Orlando. There may be someone else going through the same struggles, or experiencing the same emotions that I am. I'm just glad that I feel comfortable enough to be authentically me on my blog.
Back in May, I auditioned for two international Disney parks, Hong Kong, and the new park that will open in June of 2016, Shanghai. It felt like I needed to do give it a shot. I was compelled to see what potential I had inside of me. Never did I actually think anything would come of it. Truly. For the year that I've been with Walt Disney World, I've struggled to feel acknowledged and praised by the people that could propel my career here in Orlando. I realize that maybe, just maybe, I am being pulled to another adventure elsewhere for a period of time in my life.
I'm still not sure how it happened, or what I did to deserve it, but I was offered a contract to be a part of the opening cast for the brand new park in Shanghai, China. Clearly, I accepted. A once in a lifetime opportunity that I'll never get the chance to do again. I feel seriously humbled and quite honestly, shocked that I've been given this chance to work hard, and put my heart and soul into the Disney Company in such a way.
The details of this adventure are pretty simple. I have my last week of work at WDW next week. I fly back to Michigan on March 9th to begin my time with my family. Then I kick off April by flying to Shanghai and starting work for the Shanghai Disney Resort! My contract is for one year and then I'll be right back at the wonderful Walt Disney World.
Since I have announced my temporary departure from WDW, I've honestly been struggling with the thought of not being in Florida for a year. Tearing myself away from things in my life that I am absolutely in love with. When I left Michigan, I only struggled to deal with leaving my family and the familiarity of where I grew up for 26 years. I didn't have a lot of friends there, especially not ones that understood me. In Florida, I have that. I didn't have a job in Sturgis that made me feel like I made an impact. I didn't drive around every day back then and think how beautiful my area is. Florida is so captivating.
From the first time I came to WDW when I was 9, I wanted to live here. I'm actually living here! It's incredible! I am living my dream! I know it will still be here and I know I will get to come back. But, wow. It really hurts having to walk away from it, even if it is just for a year.
For some reason, many of my coworkers haven't grasped my emotions about saying goodbye to Florida, and I've actually been criticized for it. I can't tell you how much it sucks to feel misunderstood again. Especially when it comes to my passion for WDW. It's like deja vu. People that know my history with WDW are the ones that understand how working and living here has been my dream since I was a young child. It just makes me sad that I have to sacrifice being a part of some really cool things here in Florida, to go be involved in some really cool things in China.
Just because I'm sad about leaving everything I love here in Florida, doesn't mean I'm ungrateful for the opportunities that await me in China. Trust me when I say that I KNOW how incredible this experience across the world is going to be. I'm on the opening team of a Disney park. The company I've always wanted to just work for. I always told people that I was fine with sweeping the streets for free in WDW, just as long as I'd get to be a part of the magic. Now, someone has told me that they're going to pay for me to go have a once in a lifetime opportunity in a country I never thought I'd be able to visit on my own dime. I've known about this for six months and I STILL can't wrap my head around it.
Please, my friends, save up a little money and come to Shanghai. While you're there, fly on over to Hong Kong and Tokyo. Visit the incredible parks there. Be a part of the magic being made. Join in on the fun. See Disney history being made in Shanghai! While the world might be really big, our lives are really short. I'd love for the people that I love to come visit a country that I have a feeling I'm going to fall in love with.
I have two weeks left in Florida, and I absolutely have to make sure that I see my wonderful friends before I depart. If anyone wants to come see me at work, please message or text me. I will be organizing a get together outside of work as well. Details to come!
Thank you all so much for your support. Thank you for continuing your support. Thank you for believing in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. You are all so freaking amazing. :)
Back in May, I auditioned for two international Disney parks, Hong Kong, and the new park that will open in June of 2016, Shanghai. It felt like I needed to do give it a shot. I was compelled to see what potential I had inside of me. Never did I actually think anything would come of it. Truly. For the year that I've been with Walt Disney World, I've struggled to feel acknowledged and praised by the people that could propel my career here in Orlando. I realize that maybe, just maybe, I am being pulled to another adventure elsewhere for a period of time in my life.
I'm still not sure how it happened, or what I did to deserve it, but I was offered a contract to be a part of the opening cast for the brand new park in Shanghai, China. Clearly, I accepted. A once in a lifetime opportunity that I'll never get the chance to do again. I feel seriously humbled and quite honestly, shocked that I've been given this chance to work hard, and put my heart and soul into the Disney Company in such a way.
The details of this adventure are pretty simple. I have my last week of work at WDW next week. I fly back to Michigan on March 9th to begin my time with my family. Then I kick off April by flying to Shanghai and starting work for the Shanghai Disney Resort! My contract is for one year and then I'll be right back at the wonderful Walt Disney World.
Since I have announced my temporary departure from WDW, I've honestly been struggling with the thought of not being in Florida for a year. Tearing myself away from things in my life that I am absolutely in love with. When I left Michigan, I only struggled to deal with leaving my family and the familiarity of where I grew up for 26 years. I didn't have a lot of friends there, especially not ones that understood me. In Florida, I have that. I didn't have a job in Sturgis that made me feel like I made an impact. I didn't drive around every day back then and think how beautiful my area is. Florida is so captivating.
From the first time I came to WDW when I was 9, I wanted to live here. I'm actually living here! It's incredible! I am living my dream! I know it will still be here and I know I will get to come back. But, wow. It really hurts having to walk away from it, even if it is just for a year.
For some reason, many of my coworkers haven't grasped my emotions about saying goodbye to Florida, and I've actually been criticized for it. I can't tell you how much it sucks to feel misunderstood again. Especially when it comes to my passion for WDW. It's like deja vu. People that know my history with WDW are the ones that understand how working and living here has been my dream since I was a young child. It just makes me sad that I have to sacrifice being a part of some really cool things here in Florida, to go be involved in some really cool things in China.
Just because I'm sad about leaving everything I love here in Florida, doesn't mean I'm ungrateful for the opportunities that await me in China. Trust me when I say that I KNOW how incredible this experience across the world is going to be. I'm on the opening team of a Disney park. The company I've always wanted to just work for. I always told people that I was fine with sweeping the streets for free in WDW, just as long as I'd get to be a part of the magic. Now, someone has told me that they're going to pay for me to go have a once in a lifetime opportunity in a country I never thought I'd be able to visit on my own dime. I've known about this for six months and I STILL can't wrap my head around it.
Please, my friends, save up a little money and come to Shanghai. While you're there, fly on over to Hong Kong and Tokyo. Visit the incredible parks there. Be a part of the magic being made. Join in on the fun. See Disney history being made in Shanghai! While the world might be really big, our lives are really short. I'd love for the people that I love to come visit a country that I have a feeling I'm going to fall in love with.
I have two weeks left in Florida, and I absolutely have to make sure that I see my wonderful friends before I depart. If anyone wants to come see me at work, please message or text me. I will be organizing a get together outside of work as well. Details to come!
Thank you all so much for your support. Thank you for continuing your support. Thank you for believing in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. You are all so freaking amazing. :)
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Rapunzel and Flynn
The other day, while I was chatting with fellow cast members, the topic of character chemistry came up. It was quickly agreed upon that Rapunzel and Flynn from "Tangled" are a great example of two Disney characters that are so visibly connected and relatable. Because of my incredible love for Tangled, I've really analyzed the film and the relationships within it. Maybe no one else will find what I've thought of as interesting, but in the event that you dig the Fitzherberts, let me tell you what I love about them and how I interpret their relationship.
Flynn and Rapunzel work so well together because of how they find ways to appreciate the little things about each other. The way I see it is that they both look at the other one and admire strengths and traits that they themselves wish to possess.
Rapunzel sees Flynn as someone who has seen so much of the world. She loves that Flynn has the confidence and bravery to be on his own. While Flynn is witty and charming, as Mother Gothel was, he showed Rapunzel that jokes don't have to be made at her expense. Rapunzel looks at Flynn as someone who is actually protecting her. She spent eighteen years in a tower with someone who took her for granted and only wanted her for self-serving reasons. Flynn doesn't want to own Rapunzel, he just wants to love her and show her everything she's been missing. He constantly encourages her to be brave and seek adventure, just as he has loved doing for his entire life.
Flynn allows Rapunzel to be herself and he cherishes every second of watching her live life to the fullest. He's inspired by her zest for life and love of everything that surrounds her. She doesn't look at grass or butterflies like everyone else does, and he adores that about her. It makes him take another look around and not take everything for granted.
I think it's obvious that Flynn didn't have the confidence to be himself most of his life, but after meeting Rapunzel and seeing how she so bravely owns who she is without shame, he has a new desire to not be ashamed of any part of himself. Flynn loves looking at Rapunzel as she meets new people and talks about her passions with them. It makes him take an interest in others that he'd never really had before. Rapunzel has inspired Flynn to be less selfish and more giving. He never had anyone to care about and love until she came along. Every single day that he gets to be a part of her new life, he's so wonderfully grateful.
Flynn grew up an orphan. He had to become an adult and learn to take care of himself so quickly. Meanwhile, Rapunzel was stifled from growing up and exploring the possibilities of life. Flynn allows himself to feel more childlike around Rapunzel because she brings it out in him. With Flynn's help, Rapunzel is confident enough to experience everything the world has to offer. Flynn is happy to encourage her to be herself and chase new dreams.
They'll always defend each other. They'll always choose each other. They'll always build each other up. More than anything, they'll always be there to remind each other that they are worthy of being truly and deeply loved.
Friday, October 23, 2015
One Year
I can't grasp it. I have been living in Florida for a year. August 2nd is my one year anniversary with Disney, and I can't even write about it. I simply can't wrap my head around the fact that I've been here for just one year. It sounds dramatic, but I haven't figured out how to emotionally deal with this overwhelming feeling.
Actually, come to think of it... overwhelming is a good word for my entire year. Every facet of my life this past year has been overwhelming. The good, the bad, and everything in between.
If you know me relatively well, you'll know that being honest about my feelings is very important to me. So, guys, I'm going to confess something to you. Getting my dream job at Disney did not solve every problem in my life that existed before I started my life here in Florida. I just brought it all with me and set it on fire. There are so many positives to my life that didn't exist before, and some of the negative aspects of my life just expanded and enveloped me. Have I handled every single thing with grace and dignity? Nope. Have I sometimes pushed people away because I don't want to burden anyone else? Yep. I can say that I absolutely have clung to things and people that both destroy and enlighten me.
The thing that I still find myself looking at for joy is Disney, both within and outside of my job. I still can't believe that I drive past the monorail to go home, or that I can get to Epcot in fifteen minutes from my place. To the people that said I'd get tired of Disney, you were wrong. To the people that said the magic would be lost, you were wrong. To the haters that said I couldn't survive a year here, you were wrong. I'm gloriously happy with Disney, and if anything, the magic just keeps building for me.
Here's what I didn't expect. I'm depressed. Still. If not worse. Probably worse. I don't make it a "thing" and talk about it with people simply because I don't feel the need to burden anyone with my problems. I hate making people feel uncomfortable, and quite honestly, being that vulnerable with another human being makes ME feel uncomfortable. I won't go into details as to why or how I got into this unhealthy state in my life, but I thought that I could use this blog post as a way of letting others out there know that getting your dream job doesn't solve your problems like a magical pill, and if you are currently going through some difficult mental health issues, you're not alone. Just as importantly, if you know someone struggling with depression and/or anxiety, offer to be there for them. Offer a nonjudgmental ear that will listen intently. Even offering to just hang out for a few hours makes an impact.
So, what's next for me? Disney! I'm not leaving anytime soon if I have any say about it. The crazy hot summer months are going away soon enough. Halloween and Christmas are coming up. My family is coming down for our first ever Disney adventure with my entire immediate family. We all get to walk down Main Street USA together!
My old blog readers will remember that I used to be very into Disney Parks photography. Ever since I moved here, I just stopped taking my camera with me to the parks. I'd photograph my friends at work, but that is about it. I'm happy to say that a goal of mine is to start taking photos again. I've always been interested in photographing things at Disney that other people overlook. Not characters, not landscapes, and not fireworks. I love admiring the little details that make Disney so unique and beautiful. I'll be sure to share some of my photographs once I get enough together that are worth showing.
Here's to more time with Mickey...
Actually, come to think of it... overwhelming is a good word for my entire year. Every facet of my life this past year has been overwhelming. The good, the bad, and everything in between.
If you know me relatively well, you'll know that being honest about my feelings is very important to me. So, guys, I'm going to confess something to you. Getting my dream job at Disney did not solve every problem in my life that existed before I started my life here in Florida. I just brought it all with me and set it on fire. There are so many positives to my life that didn't exist before, and some of the negative aspects of my life just expanded and enveloped me. Have I handled every single thing with grace and dignity? Nope. Have I sometimes pushed people away because I don't want to burden anyone else? Yep. I can say that I absolutely have clung to things and people that both destroy and enlighten me.
The thing that I still find myself looking at for joy is Disney, both within and outside of my job. I still can't believe that I drive past the monorail to go home, or that I can get to Epcot in fifteen minutes from my place. To the people that said I'd get tired of Disney, you were wrong. To the people that said the magic would be lost, you were wrong. To the haters that said I couldn't survive a year here, you were wrong. I'm gloriously happy with Disney, and if anything, the magic just keeps building for me.
Here's what I didn't expect. I'm depressed. Still. If not worse. Probably worse. I don't make it a "thing" and talk about it with people simply because I don't feel the need to burden anyone with my problems. I hate making people feel uncomfortable, and quite honestly, being that vulnerable with another human being makes ME feel uncomfortable. I won't go into details as to why or how I got into this unhealthy state in my life, but I thought that I could use this blog post as a way of letting others out there know that getting your dream job doesn't solve your problems like a magical pill, and if you are currently going through some difficult mental health issues, you're not alone. Just as importantly, if you know someone struggling with depression and/or anxiety, offer to be there for them. Offer a nonjudgmental ear that will listen intently. Even offering to just hang out for a few hours makes an impact.
So, what's next for me? Disney! I'm not leaving anytime soon if I have any say about it. The crazy hot summer months are going away soon enough. Halloween and Christmas are coming up. My family is coming down for our first ever Disney adventure with my entire immediate family. We all get to walk down Main Street USA together!
My old blog readers will remember that I used to be very into Disney Parks photography. Ever since I moved here, I just stopped taking my camera with me to the parks. I'd photograph my friends at work, but that is about it. I'm happy to say that a goal of mine is to start taking photos again. I've always been interested in photographing things at Disney that other people overlook. Not characters, not landscapes, and not fireworks. I love admiring the little details that make Disney so unique and beautiful. I'll be sure to share some of my photographs once I get enough together that are worth showing.
Here's to more time with Mickey...
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Disney Passions
Fun fact about me: I love Disney Entertainment.
Another fun fact about me: I am a very passionate person.
Put that together and you can see why I'm so easily enthralled by Disney Parks and the entertainment offerings. I have been for years... just read my blog posts from over the past 7 YEARS. I've been blogging about Disney for a long time. Whoa. That just hit me. Anyway, I have often talked about my love for Disney shows, parades, character experiences, among other things. Being so up close and personal with it is truly a life changing thing that I'll never ever take for granted.
Even as a working cast member for the company, I still feel very attached to visiting Disney as a guest. It's a unique adventure to leave work and then walk around the parks, experiencing the atmosphere and entertainment just as an every day guest would.
Ever since my first trip to WDW in 1997, the Magic Kingdom's day parade has always held a special place in my heart. I first saw Remember the Magic. I was one of the young volunteers that got to step onto the street in the middle of the parade and dance with characters from The Little Mermaid. The memory is still so vivid. Limboing with giant fish as Ariel, high up on her float, flipped her fin and sang right behind me. I'll never for get it.
I've been pretty much obsessed with Disney's latest daytime parade, Festival of Fantasy, since the first time I saw it. The floats, the music, the costumes, the performers. Everything is magical and inspiring. The Tangled float is by far my favorite, and that's not just because Rapunzel has been my favorite female Disney character since Tangled came out, but it's such a unique float. Plus, it's the only place where you can regularly see Flynn Rider... a very big deal for us hardcore Tangled fans.
Another unique part of Festival of Fantasy is definitely when Prince Phillip fights a fire breathing dragon. Yes! An actual fire breathing dragon. I really didn't give much attention to Prince Phillip until I saw Festival of Fantasy. Now, he's one of the dreamiest and most badass Disney princes. Way to be completely fierce and brave, Phillip.
I know many people don't care for Animal Kingdom. I think what people tend to overlook at Animal Kingdom are the entertainment offerings. The park has shows that are some of the best Disney has ever had. My two favorites are definitely Finding Nemo: The Musical and Flights of Wonder. The music for Finding Nemo: The Musical was written by the composers for Avenue Q. If that means nothing to you, ignore what I just said, but know that it's a pretty cool thing. When I would have a bad day working at the bank, I'd turn on Finding Nemo's music and listen to it on repeat. It always made me laugh and sing along. It still does! Plus, the end of the show always makes me a total weeping sap.
Flights of Wonder was something I didn't discover until my first solo Disney trip in 2012. Now, I'm totally in love with it. It's not that I'm a person that's really big on birds, but I do enjoy learning about them and watching them fly right over my head. I think my favorite part is the sentimental message of conservation. That's something very near and dear to my heart.
Obviously there are LOADS more of awesome entertainment offerings at the Disney parks, but those are just a few of my favorites. I feel so lucky to be a part of a company that creates entertainment on such a big scale. I always want Disney to expand and grow. They're good at being cutting edge and unique. Provided Disney doesn't make any more entertainment cuts, we're well on our way to some exciting new things in the future.
Another fun fact about me: I am a very passionate person.
Put that together and you can see why I'm so easily enthralled by Disney Parks and the entertainment offerings. I have been for years... just read my blog posts from over the past 7 YEARS. I've been blogging about Disney for a long time. Whoa. That just hit me. Anyway, I have often talked about my love for Disney shows, parades, character experiences, among other things. Being so up close and personal with it is truly a life changing thing that I'll never ever take for granted.
Even as a working cast member for the company, I still feel very attached to visiting Disney as a guest. It's a unique adventure to leave work and then walk around the parks, experiencing the atmosphere and entertainment just as an every day guest would.
Ever since my first trip to WDW in 1997, the Magic Kingdom's day parade has always held a special place in my heart. I first saw Remember the Magic. I was one of the young volunteers that got to step onto the street in the middle of the parade and dance with characters from The Little Mermaid. The memory is still so vivid. Limboing with giant fish as Ariel, high up on her float, flipped her fin and sang right behind me. I'll never for get it.
I've been pretty much obsessed with Disney's latest daytime parade, Festival of Fantasy, since the first time I saw it. The floats, the music, the costumes, the performers. Everything is magical and inspiring. The Tangled float is by far my favorite, and that's not just because Rapunzel has been my favorite female Disney character since Tangled came out, but it's such a unique float. Plus, it's the only place where you can regularly see Flynn Rider... a very big deal for us hardcore Tangled fans.
Another unique part of Festival of Fantasy is definitely when Prince Phillip fights a fire breathing dragon. Yes! An actual fire breathing dragon. I really didn't give much attention to Prince Phillip until I saw Festival of Fantasy. Now, he's one of the dreamiest and most badass Disney princes. Way to be completely fierce and brave, Phillip.
I know many people don't care for Animal Kingdom. I think what people tend to overlook at Animal Kingdom are the entertainment offerings. The park has shows that are some of the best Disney has ever had. My two favorites are definitely Finding Nemo: The Musical and Flights of Wonder. The music for Finding Nemo: The Musical was written by the composers for Avenue Q. If that means nothing to you, ignore what I just said, but know that it's a pretty cool thing. When I would have a bad day working at the bank, I'd turn on Finding Nemo's music and listen to it on repeat. It always made me laugh and sing along. It still does! Plus, the end of the show always makes me a total weeping sap.
Flights of Wonder was something I didn't discover until my first solo Disney trip in 2012. Now, I'm totally in love with it. It's not that I'm a person that's really big on birds, but I do enjoy learning about them and watching them fly right over my head. I think my favorite part is the sentimental message of conservation. That's something very near and dear to my heart.
Obviously there are LOADS more of awesome entertainment offerings at the Disney parks, but those are just a few of my favorites. I feel so lucky to be a part of a company that creates entertainment on such a big scale. I always want Disney to expand and grow. They're good at being cutting edge and unique. Provided Disney doesn't make any more entertainment cuts, we're well on our way to some exciting new things in the future.
Friday, February 27, 2015
A Little Honesty
I just logged into Blogger and realized it's been two months since my last update. Whoa! I really can't grasp how fast time flies working for Disney. It's a way different life than in Sturgis. I had much more time on my hands working for the bank. Even when I'm not at work now, I'm thinking about work or preparing for work. I'm still trying to find the balance in everything. You'd think that almost seven months into my new life in Florida, I'd have it all figured out. Nope.
Anyway, it's taken me almost a week to finish this blog post. I apologize for all my ramblings. It's probably the least cohesive post I've ever written. I totally appreciate you sticking it out. My family is finally visiting me next week, so I'm sure I'll have some great things to share after they leave Florida.
Thanks, friends! :)
Nevertheless, I do know some things for sure. I still have a true passion for Disney. In fact, I think I love it even more... if that's possible. I really don't feel like I'm overloaded with Disney, and I certainly don't feel like the magic has faded. There are so many opportunities with the company, and I hate the idea of letting any of them pass by me. I waited my whole life for this. I'm not going to waste my time here, because I know that it could potentially be a very short time that I get to do what I do. I still cannot believe I get paid to create magic. And I think I say this in every single blog post I write, but I really can't grasp that I am finally doing what I told everyone I wanted to do.
Some days are still really hard. Balancing my personal life and work life is probably the most challenging part. Making and keeping friends feels almost impossible sometimes. Mostly because I feel so different than the majority of people that I work with. Some days, when north feels south, when I'm dealing with rejection, when I'm feeling like the ugly duckling, or when I question if I'm good enough, I try to remind myself that there are co-workers that most definitely go through the same thing.
Sometimes, I sit around at work and listen to girls pick themselves a part. Their job performance, their voice, their hair, their diet, their nose, their calves, and their cuticles, are all things that seem to be scrutinized from time to time. It's like a disease that spreads quickly. Suddenly, even when I am feeling my best, I'm reminded that there are many things that could be "wrong" with me. I'm generally a girl that has always liked my true self, but it's admittedly challenging to not look at myself a little differently and wish that I was more what other girls consider to be perfect. The worst moments are those when I'm in a big group of co-workers and my insecurities lead me to think that others must wonder what the heck I'm doing there amongst them. It's RIDICULOUS! Simply because I know that I deserve it. I know that I'm great. I know that I'm good enough. And in reality, it really doesn't matter if anyone else thinks that or not.
New opportunities have come up for many of my co-workers and friends. I am SO happy and proud to call these people my friends. One of my favorite parts of this job (and I know I've spoken of this before, but read on), is how I can make friends and support them through all of their ups and downs. I don't have enough room in my mind and my heart to see my co-workers as competition. We're all entirely different people with entirely different special things about us.
Going through struggles really makes me appreciate the little things even more than I usually do. There are so many things on my Disney check list, and I've been able to cross many of them off since I've been living in Florida. Perhaps the biggest accomplishment for me as a guest, was meeting Hercules. It might sound crazy to some people, but watching Hercules for the first time is one of the happiest memories I have from my childhood. I've always been able to connect to the film and to Hercules himself. I never actually thought I'd get to meet him since he's such a rare character, but it really happened and was just as magical as I imagined it to be.
Anyway, it's taken me almost a week to finish this blog post. I apologize for all my ramblings. It's probably the least cohesive post I've ever written. I totally appreciate you sticking it out. My family is finally visiting me next week, so I'm sure I'll have some great things to share after they leave Florida.
Thanks, friends! :)
Thursday, December 18, 2014
2014: The Year in Review
I can't believe we're approaching the end of December. I've been down here in Florida for almost five months. FIVE MONTHS! How is this even possible? I feel like I just got to the sweatiest state in the USA yesterday! Time sure does fly when you're having fun and busy as heck, right? Well, as this year comes to a close, I really feel compelled to write about what happened in 2014, the best year of my life.
Some of you reading my blog probably don't know my "story" entirely. Let me take a moment to catch you up.
Since I was a young child, Disney has been my life. I first came to Disney when I was just nine years old. I've pretty much been addicted ever since then. My life's goal has always been to work for the Disney Company. I always said I could be sweeping the streets in Magic Kingdom for free and I'd be totally content. People in school knew me as the girl that A) loves to perform, and B) loves Disney. Still following? I'm sure you can see where this is going.
Fast forward to adulthood. I got married and bought a house at just nineteen years old. I also started a job at a bank that same year. A job that brought nothing but unhappiness to me. I felt unfulfilled. I lacked passion for the job. Still, I let the contentment of the "simple life" pull me down into the abyss of normalcy. For 7 1/2 years, I lived a life that made me feel lost and yearning for more. The entire time I knew that Disney was calling my name.
In February of this year, I experienced one heck of a breakdown. Crying in my kitchen, I told my husband that I couldn't go on living with myself anymore. I couldn't be that person, living that life.
Just a few weeks after that, I took the first steps toward my Disney journey. I took my first steps toward a more fulfilling life. From March 11th on, everything was different. My life was flipped upside down. Matt and I had so many struggles getting to Florida. I mean... SO MANY STRUGGLES. Virtually nothing about this adventure was easy. Yet, here we are. Five months later. Still standing and I'm living my dream. Actually living my dream. You have no idea what that means to me.
Every day that I'm at work, I have to pinch myself. Seriously. I've been given so many amazing opportunities and created so much magic in just five months. It's so emotionally overwhelming to think about the fact that I'm doing what I always said I wanted to do. While not every day is amazing at work, I'm still thankful for being here and having the chance to make the next day better than the last.
The highlights of my job so far would definitely have to be experiencing the Magic Kingdom Welcome Show with Anna and Elsa, as well as spending a few nights with Flynn and Rapunzel at Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party. Both events totally made me incredibly emotional. It was all so surreal. I'm lucky that I had the most wonderful partners on those days to help me, encourage me, and share in making special memories for ourselves, as well as guests. There's no possible way I could ever express to my co-workers (and now, friends) how much their kindness meant to me on those very special days.
Job stuff aside, I have had some pretty memorable life experiences as well. I lived through the craziest Michigan winter since I've been alive. Matt and I took our friends to Disney World back in February to celebrate Matt's 30th birthday. I came ridiculously close to being hit by a vehicle when a minivan drove into my bank when I was working by myself. I traveled to the amazingly perfect Roxbury Motel in the Catskills to celebrate my wedding anniversary with Matt. At the end of summer, I finally quit my job in banking and moved from Sturgis to Orlando. I finally got the chance to take Matt and my mom to New Smyrna Beach, which was amazing. Matt and I traveled to Chicago to finally see Yusuf/Cat Stevens live, after ten years of being hardcore fans. Last, but not least, I met so many incredible people here in Florida that have truly changed my life for the better.
If you missed any of my previous blog posts about my Florida adventure this year, I'll help you out and link you to some of the highlights.
One of the happiest and scariest blog posts I've ever written... right before I accepted the position with Disney.
Three months into my Florida Life...
What I love about this new life...
Picture time? Yeah. Picture time.
Some of you reading my blog probably don't know my "story" entirely. Let me take a moment to catch you up.
Since I was a young child, Disney has been my life. I first came to Disney when I was just nine years old. I've pretty much been addicted ever since then. My life's goal has always been to work for the Disney Company. I always said I could be sweeping the streets in Magic Kingdom for free and I'd be totally content. People in school knew me as the girl that A) loves to perform, and B) loves Disney. Still following? I'm sure you can see where this is going.
Fast forward to adulthood. I got married and bought a house at just nineteen years old. I also started a job at a bank that same year. A job that brought nothing but unhappiness to me. I felt unfulfilled. I lacked passion for the job. Still, I let the contentment of the "simple life" pull me down into the abyss of normalcy. For 7 1/2 years, I lived a life that made me feel lost and yearning for more. The entire time I knew that Disney was calling my name.
In February of this year, I experienced one heck of a breakdown. Crying in my kitchen, I told my husband that I couldn't go on living with myself anymore. I couldn't be that person, living that life.
Just a few weeks after that, I took the first steps toward my Disney journey. I took my first steps toward a more fulfilling life. From March 11th on, everything was different. My life was flipped upside down. Matt and I had so many struggles getting to Florida. I mean... SO MANY STRUGGLES. Virtually nothing about this adventure was easy. Yet, here we are. Five months later. Still standing and I'm living my dream. Actually living my dream. You have no idea what that means to me.
Every day that I'm at work, I have to pinch myself. Seriously. I've been given so many amazing opportunities and created so much magic in just five months. It's so emotionally overwhelming to think about the fact that I'm doing what I always said I wanted to do. While not every day is amazing at work, I'm still thankful for being here and having the chance to make the next day better than the last.
The highlights of my job so far would definitely have to be experiencing the Magic Kingdom Welcome Show with Anna and Elsa, as well as spending a few nights with Flynn and Rapunzel at Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party. Both events totally made me incredibly emotional. It was all so surreal. I'm lucky that I had the most wonderful partners on those days to help me, encourage me, and share in making special memories for ourselves, as well as guests. There's no possible way I could ever express to my co-workers (and now, friends) how much their kindness meant to me on those very special days.
Job stuff aside, I have had some pretty memorable life experiences as well. I lived through the craziest Michigan winter since I've been alive. Matt and I took our friends to Disney World back in February to celebrate Matt's 30th birthday. I came ridiculously close to being hit by a vehicle when a minivan drove into my bank when I was working by myself. I traveled to the amazingly perfect Roxbury Motel in the Catskills to celebrate my wedding anniversary with Matt. At the end of summer, I finally quit my job in banking and moved from Sturgis to Orlando. I finally got the chance to take Matt and my mom to New Smyrna Beach, which was amazing. Matt and I traveled to Chicago to finally see Yusuf/Cat Stevens live, after ten years of being hardcore fans. Last, but not least, I met so many incredible people here in Florida that have truly changed my life for the better.
If you missed any of my previous blog posts about my Florida adventure this year, I'll help you out and link you to some of the highlights.
One of the happiest and scariest blog posts I've ever written... right before I accepted the position with Disney.
Three months into my Florida Life...
What I love about this new life...
Picture time? Yeah. Picture time.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Gratitude
Today, while shopping for a Thanksgiving meal for two, it dawned on me that while nothing is traditional or familiar this holiday season, I still have so much to be thankful for.
I have talked about this dream of mine since I was very young. I've told countless people how badly I wanted to work for Disney. More often than not, I was met with eye rolls and negativity. Where I'm from, it's just not a realistic life goal. Still, that never ever stopped me from talking about it. Knowing most people would think I'm silly, I'd always courageously express one thing… that this gut feeling of what I should be doing with my life just wouldn't go away. That I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would be so good at this job. It's the one thing I have never questioned in my life. The only thing I have confidently believed to be true.
I've been telling my "story" a lot recently to co-workers and others I've encountered through my job. The more I tell it, the more I realize that my journey is a miraculous one. So many people in this world talk of their dreams, but so few of them actually have those dreams become reality. I'm one of those few that made it happen. There's no possible way I could express how thankful I am.
Another thing I am grateful for is family and friends that supported me all along and never doubted my ability to see this dream through. Conversations I've had with my greatest supporters are the conversations that I still remember vividly. I allowed myself to not take to heart the negativity that I'd encounter. I can't wait to make my encouragers even more proud as I continue on this journey.
Speaking of which… I'm looking forward to all of the opportunities available to me with the Disney. There's so much more I can do! I never really knew what it was like to want to "do more" and take advantage of opportunities with my previous jobs. With Disney, I frequently imagine all of the new challenges and fun experiences that await me. I suppose that it just takes some strong will and passion for what you do to pursue all of the possibilities in front of you.
I'm incredibly thankful for the Disney guests that I've met from all around the world and from all different walks of life. I get to hear guest's stories of how much Disney means to them. I get to share my passion for the company through my job. As much as I feel like I get to give to others, I feel like I receive so much more.
This year has been the craziest time of my entire 26 year existence, and it isn't even over yet. I'll continue to be a dreamer and overcome anything challenging that's thrown my way. Without the difficulties, I would never know how to cherish all the little things in my life.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Three Months
Hey, friends!
I apologize I have not written for my blog in so long. Here I am, 3 months living in Florida. Time flies when you're crazy busy and having fun, right?
I realize that writing about Disney has actually become harder since I have started my job with the company. There are so many things that I want to say, and yet I can only say so much publicly. I need to find a way to properly document my incredible experiences for myself to look back on years later. More than anything, my trainers have told me to keep a journal of some sort for when the days get tough and you need to remember why you're doing what you're doing. It's a great tip, and I need to follow it because I've already forgotten the most wonderful interactions simply because one day flows into the next and it's hard to keep up with it all.
I'm starting to get into a routine of sorts at work, even though I don't have a set schedule. I'm mostly working at Magic Kingdom lately and I really like it since I live so close to the park. On my days off when Matt is busy working, I really like going to the parks by myself. While it's really strange to some of my co-workers, I've had years of experience as a solo park goer. It allows me to reconnect with the emotional aspect of my job, and is a great reminder as to why I love Disney so much. I need to find a hobby in the area that isn't Disney related… something new. Sure, I still love to watch television shows and play guitar, but I feel like I need something totally different to immerse myself in during my down time.
I'll admit that I have been getting really lonely lately. I'm not sure if it's just that Matt's the only person I see, or that I work crazy hours so it's hard to feel normal, but I just find myself feeling pretty lousy when I'm not at work. Truly depressed. However, I LOVE my job! Partially because it's such a great distraction from my real life. I don't sleep well anymore. I usually wake up around 5am with my cat and we just look at each other for a solid hour. My mind races, and soon I really just wish that Mr. Sandman would come visit. But, of course, thinking of Mr. Sandman makes me think of the movie "Cry-Baby", and then I start thinking about who I'd like to play in that movie and all of my favorite parts. Before you know it, I have the entire soundtrack stuck in my head, and in between each verse of every song I think about something that stresses me out. That's my brain.
At work I'm surrounded by some really incredible people. Folks from all different walks of life and everyone has such a variety of life stories. I absolutely LOVE getting to know people. I do struggle with my self-confidence sometimes, and I do find myself nervous to say hello to some people. However, there have been certain individuals that let me know that I'm wanted and welcomed. I love those people. Sure, there have been some stinkers. Some people that clearly want nothing to do with me, and people that I've learned I can't trust. That's life. I had that all at the bank in Michigan, and now I have that in Florida.
Making friends is pretty tricky here. It kind of feels like high school at times. I'm not sure what people want to be friends and what people just talk to me because I'm right there in front of them. I feel quite different than most of the people I work with. Maybe it's because I'm married. Maybe it's because I'm older. Maybe it's because I don't like to feed into the catty negativity that floats around. Either way, I don't know who is being real and who is just tolerating my existence. My job makes it really hard to truly bond with someone while at work. You really have to take the time outside of work to try and get to know a person. Man, you'd think that at 26 years old I'd have friendship figured out by now, but girls are confusing and I don't think I'll ever understand them. Still, I'm not giving up because there has to be someone here that I can share a connection with.
Lately, I've been thinking about how terrific it is to be surrounded by so many talented people. Sometimes I come to the parks just to watch and learn from other entertainers. Supporting each other is really important… even the people that haven't exactly been friendly toward me. I've been coming to the parks for years, and somehow I still get blown away by Disney entertainment. It's something that I know will never get old.
I really miss my family, but I don't miss Sturgis. Not even a little bit. I waited 26 years of my life to get out of that city, and I know it's great for some people, but I never ever felt like I belonged. Maybe eventually I'll have a desire to drive around there and feel nostalgic, but right now I'm quite okay with having this life in Florida. Everything here is so beautiful. The sky even looks different here. It's more open and clear. The sunsets are more picturesque. It's a perfect place to be myself and appreciate the little things in life.
I look forward to what's to come in the future months here in Florida… cooler weather, holiday decorations and events, and family visiting.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Greetings from Florida!
Hey guys! I finally am getting a chance to update all of you on what has been going on in my life. Thank you so much for holding out and being patient with me. My schedule has been absolutely bananas and very irregular. Matt and I also don't have internet just yet, so I have to go over to the clubhouse in our community to use the free Wi-Fi. I figure the easiest way to write this all out is to just break it up into sections. I apologize if this is too long for some of you, but I am also documenting this experience for myself.
Just to preface, there are certain details about my job down here that I can't talk about. If you ask me a question (or have asked me) and I haven't answered it, it's simply because I'm not allowed to, not because I'm a big jerk.
The journey down here was one of the most challenging things about the last month. We rented a trailer that attached to Matt's parent's vehicle. However, the trailer ended up being too small for all of our stuff and we had to leave some items behind. For example, we have no vacuum. Yes, it's driving me crazy. Matt and his parents drove the trailer down, while my mom and my brother came with me in our Yaris. We ended up accidentally taking two separate routes and we weren't together at all on the way down. The drive was going really great for us until we hit Georgia and decided to stop around 1:30 a.m. to sleep for a few hours. Sleeping was a huge struggle because of a couple of factors. The humidity was ridiculous and our dog, Ellie, decided to sleep the whole drive down to Georgia and stay awake once we got there.
My car made it to Florida about 2 or 3 hours ahead of Matt's clan carrying the trailer. I had to sort out some details with our apartment lease before they would give us the keys. The price ended up increasing because we missed the expiration on the quote we were given by a couple of hours. Crazy stressful moment for me in the leasing office. Once Matt and his parents arrived at the apartment, we all worked really hard and unpacked the trailer… hauling everything up 3 flights of stairs.
The first week in our new home is sort of a blur when I look back on it. Our family stayed down in Florida with us for that first week and we are SO grateful for that. They really helped us ease into this new life. My brother helped us figure out how to arrange our furniture, he hung up artwork for us, and every other little problematic task you could think of. Our parents were our emotional support. Just having them here made us feel a lot better and not so alone. We had a fun week together going to the beach, a few Disney parks, air boating, and dinners in Celebration.
My Disney journey started with the onboarding experience. Sadly, it was not pleasant initially. I had a complication, and the initial woman I interacted with in the office very rude and unhelpful. I actually had to contact my recruiter so she could be the go between and help me out. She was fantastic and a lifesaver for me. Four days after onboarding was my first day of work… Traditions. Seriously, it was one of the best days of my life. It was such a surreal experience! Traditions was the most fun class I've ever taken in my entire life. I met a lot nice people, some of which I got to be with throughout the rest of my training.
My first week of training was pretty much everything that I expected, only much more challenging. It was emotionally and physically exhausting. The days were long and most everything made me feel really overwhelmed. The only thing scarier than my training, was my first day out of training. It was like my first day of high school. Actually, every time I've had to work at a new location it's felt like my first day of high school. Where I'm the little newbie that doesn't know anyone, or where anything is, or what I'm supposed to be doing. I seriously walk around saying, "Hi, I'm new. Can you help me?" Luckily, I've met some very nice people that have been willing to point me in the right direction. Last night I worked at Disney's Hollywood Studios for the first time, so I've now worked in all four major parks. The scariest is still Magic Kingdom. The other day I was leaving work at Magic Kingdom and meeting Matt on Main Street to watch Festival of Fantasy. I didn't know how to get "onstage" from the tunnels. Someone told me to just take any staircase… so I did. I ended up coming out a random door, looked up, and there was Cinderella Castle right beside me. Pretty cool, huh?
My job itself is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I get to make magic and spread happiness to people. I work for a company that I love more than I could ever explain. I literally have my dream job. Every bit of it is still so surreal to me when I think about it. I seriously waited my whole life to get to work for the company. It's pretty much totally and completely amazing.
Let's talk about Florida now. Obviously, it's hot. Really hot. As this random stranger at a gas station told Matt the other day, "You don't get used to it. You just learn to tolerate it." Totally reminds me of how I view Michigan winters. I absolutely love the area we live in. There are so many things close to us that we never had in Sturgis. A nice perk? Target is closer than Wal-Mart. In general, retail stores are a little more costly down here, but nothing ridiculous. Our rent is what's ridiculous. We don't have internet yet because it's so expensive, and we don't have our money situation figured out yet. Matt just took a job with Lowe's, so up until this week it's been just my income. We've been living on a lot of leftovers, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and bananas.
When we left Sturgis, our house sale was pending. A few weeks after we were here in Florida, we got some disappointing news. The appraisal came back lower than our sale price and brought the sale to a halt. We were planning on closing within August, not have to pay August's mortgage payment, and using the small amount we made on the sale to put toward a second car that we absolutely need. Now, we've worked with the bank and come up with a solution to still sell the house, but Matt and I will make nothing on it. In fact, we'll be paying out money in order to complete the sale. The housing market is just not in our favor. We bought the house for significantly more than what we're being forced to sell it for. This has easily been the single biggest stressor in our lives the past month. Everything was just too good to be true. Matt and I literally cannot pay our rent at the end of the month AND our mortgage (and all of our other bills). We even discussed the idea of being forced to move back to Michigan and how we'd handle it. I just crumble at the idea of it. I love it down here so much and I don't want to leave.
The four of us (Matt, Vinnie, Ellie, and myself) have all adjusted to Florida living quite well. Thank you all so much for caring about us and following along on our journey. There's so much more to come! I'll be sure to post more pictures and keep you all updated whenever I can. Please keep us in your thoughts!
Friday, July 11, 2014
It Hit Me
Like a ton of bricks, it hit me. Just now.
In two weeks, Matt and I will be picking up our lives and moving 1,100 miles away. It seriously just totally and completely set in that this is really happening. To be honest, I'm not liking it.
I don't have some huge fear of moving. I don't have a fear of this new job with Disney. I am experiencing total heartbreak that I'm leaving behind my family, and I have no idea when I'm going to see them next. It's selfish of me to ask my mom to come see me once a month, but that's really what I want to say. I want to tell everyone to just relocate down there as well so I don't have to be without them. I'm really going to miss seeing the people I'm closest to every single week.
Up until now I was just thinking about how I'm more worried that people will be without me. I have been telling myself that I know I'll be okay and handle everything just fine. That it's everyone else I'm worried about. Now that isn't really the case. I don't know when I'll start to get time off at work to be able to fly back home. I might have to go without seeing some family until next year. That's just really hard to swallow. I seriously give credit to military families that go through being apart all the time.
I have been really trying to push my emotions down to make it easier to handle everything else that is going on. Just the past few days I've been forced to come face to face with the emotional aspect of moving away. I'm leaving my job of 7 1/2 years. Leaving my house that I've lived in for 7 years. Leaving the only little city that I've ever lived in. I know that I'm gaining so much by moving to Florida, but I can't help reflecting on how much life is changing for Matt and I.
I'm very thankful that we get to spend a week in Florida with Matt's parents and my mom. This will be a nice way to transition into a new life. Aside from getting Matt and I settled, we're all going to be able to do some fun things together. I can't wait to drive around the area and see things I've never seen before. "Look at the stuff. Isn't it neat?"
My six year old niece and I had a heart to heart the other evening. I told her that I'm really going to miss her when I'm in Florida, but that she can come see me and I can come back and see her. Then she tapped me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear, "But, Aunt Stacey! You know what? We can Skype!" In that moment, her little voice made me feel so much better and filled me with hope that it will all be okay.
Well... until next time. "TTFN, Ta-ta for now!"
In two weeks, Matt and I will be picking up our lives and moving 1,100 miles away. It seriously just totally and completely set in that this is really happening. To be honest, I'm not liking it.
I don't have some huge fear of moving. I don't have a fear of this new job with Disney. I am experiencing total heartbreak that I'm leaving behind my family, and I have no idea when I'm going to see them next. It's selfish of me to ask my mom to come see me once a month, but that's really what I want to say. I want to tell everyone to just relocate down there as well so I don't have to be without them. I'm really going to miss seeing the people I'm closest to every single week.
Up until now I was just thinking about how I'm more worried that people will be without me. I have been telling myself that I know I'll be okay and handle everything just fine. That it's everyone else I'm worried about. Now that isn't really the case. I don't know when I'll start to get time off at work to be able to fly back home. I might have to go without seeing some family until next year. That's just really hard to swallow. I seriously give credit to military families that go through being apart all the time.
I have been really trying to push my emotions down to make it easier to handle everything else that is going on. Just the past few days I've been forced to come face to face with the emotional aspect of moving away. I'm leaving my job of 7 1/2 years. Leaving my house that I've lived in for 7 years. Leaving the only little city that I've ever lived in. I know that I'm gaining so much by moving to Florida, but I can't help reflecting on how much life is changing for Matt and I.
I'm very thankful that we get to spend a week in Florida with Matt's parents and my mom. This will be a nice way to transition into a new life. Aside from getting Matt and I settled, we're all going to be able to do some fun things together. I can't wait to drive around the area and see things I've never seen before. "Look at the stuff. Isn't it neat?"
My six year old niece and I had a heart to heart the other evening. I told her that I'm really going to miss her when I'm in Florida, but that she can come see me and I can come back and see her. Then she tapped me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear, "But, Aunt Stacey! You know what? We can Skype!" In that moment, her little voice made me feel so much better and filled me with hope that it will all be okay.
Well... until next time. "TTFN, Ta-ta for now!"
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Moving to Florida: What It Means
Back on Matt and I's "Disneymoon", we met a very nice woman during park opening at Epcot. She was a Florida resident and actually had a lifetime pass of some sort to the Disney parks that she obtained when Walt Disney World first opened. While boarding Soarin' with her, the woman told us that she's retired and "just woke up this morning and felt like riding Soarin'." I remember Matt and I looking at each other and both of us saying, "That must be the life!" After we exited The Land pavilion, we watched the woman casually stroll right out of the park. It was a moment that has always stayed with me, because until then I'd never actually thought about what it might be like to live so close to the parks.
Today, it somehow just dawned on me that Matt and I are going to be able to live like that woman. We can have our date nights at the Boardwalk! We can hit up Aloha Isle if we're craving Dole Whip! We can even walk into Animal Kingdom on a hot day, enjoy Kali River Rapids, and then go right back home to get dried off. I really cannot believe this!!!
I also realized today that I am going to live an hour away from New Smyrna Beach. YES! I want to cry just thinking about it. I miss that place so much, and it's been over 10 years since I've visited. I can go there and lay on the beach, play in the waves, just like I've always imagined doing again.
Friends and family are going to be able to come visit us in an area with endless things to do. In Sturgis there isn't much to do, so we always end up leaving town to find unique activities or restaurants. The Orlando area is overflowing with killer bars, theme parks, recreational activities, vegetarian-friendly restaurants (something we're not used to having), and so much more.
I don't know what it's like to go outside in the middle of winter and not feel the need to wear two pair of socks, snow boots, a scarf, gloves, thick hat, and a winter coat. The only snow we'll be seeing in Florida is on Main Street, U.S.A. during Christmastime. After this past winter, I'm actually very much okay with not seeing snow every day for 5 months out of the year.
Yes, there are some downsides to moving away from Michigan. We're moving away from our family and the comfort of "home." Yes, I know that Florida IS SO HOT in the summer, but Michigan is SO DAMN COLD in the winter. I don't want to have to bundle up like an eskimo to take my dog outside for 3 minutes. Yes, moving is a humongous pain that is already stressing me to the max, but in the end it will all be worth it. I'll finally be living my dream with my husband right by my side.
Today, it somehow just dawned on me that Matt and I are going to be able to live like that woman. We can have our date nights at the Boardwalk! We can hit up Aloha Isle if we're craving Dole Whip! We can even walk into Animal Kingdom on a hot day, enjoy Kali River Rapids, and then go right back home to get dried off. I really cannot believe this!!!
I also realized today that I am going to live an hour away from New Smyrna Beach. YES! I want to cry just thinking about it. I miss that place so much, and it's been over 10 years since I've visited. I can go there and lay on the beach, play in the waves, just like I've always imagined doing again.
Friends and family are going to be able to come visit us in an area with endless things to do. In Sturgis there isn't much to do, so we always end up leaving town to find unique activities or restaurants. The Orlando area is overflowing with killer bars, theme parks, recreational activities, vegetarian-friendly restaurants (something we're not used to having), and so much more.
I don't know what it's like to go outside in the middle of winter and not feel the need to wear two pair of socks, snow boots, a scarf, gloves, thick hat, and a winter coat. The only snow we'll be seeing in Florida is on Main Street, U.S.A. during Christmastime. After this past winter, I'm actually very much okay with not seeing snow every day for 5 months out of the year.
Yes, there are some downsides to moving away from Michigan. We're moving away from our family and the comfort of "home." Yes, I know that Florida IS SO HOT in the summer, but Michigan is SO DAMN COLD in the winter. I don't want to have to bundle up like an eskimo to take my dog outside for 3 minutes. Yes, moving is a humongous pain that is already stressing me to the max, but in the end it will all be worth it. I'll finally be living my dream with my husband right by my side.
1,150 miles to go...
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Best Day Ever!
Monday really was the best day ever. Seriously.
Out of the blue I received a call from a recruiter for Disney Entertainment offering me a full time job with the Disney Company starting August 2nd. Of course I said, "Yes! Yes! Absolutely! Yes!"
I'll sort of give you the run down of what has been going on since, and what will be going on in the near future.
Just minutes after I accepted the job offer, my email inbox was bombarded with loads of paperwork that I needed to electronically read and sign. A great part was a video from Bob Iger saying, "Welcome to the team." What is my life?! It's so good!
My husband and I have been trying to sell our house FSBO since we found out that there's a good chance that I would get the job. On Saturday we had a showing, and this week we have three. I've had a lot of people inquire about renting or land contract but we're just not interested in that option. We'd consider a land contract if we trusted the buyer, but we certainly will not rent it out to strangers with us being 1000 miles away. I feel confident that we'll figure something out before the end of July.
I have to go down to WDW for onboarding July 28th or 29th. Then a few days later will be my first day of orientation. I'll be going through a "Traditions" class where I'll learn about the company, and then take a tour of Magic Kingdom along with other new hires. My first week of work will consist of me doing some core training for the role I'll be doing. The next week will be more in depth and I'll get to become good friends with a lovely Princess from Arendelle.
If we don't have a solution for the house by the time that I have to start work, I will end up going down to Florida without Matt, rent a car, and live with someone until he can join me. That is our absolute worst option. I really don't like that because it would mean I'd be going through the move without Matt. I think the first few weeks being away from Michigan will be the hardest. I'd really love to have my best friend there to be my support system.
Having to tell the bank that I'm leaving after seven years was actually something I was really dreading. I was totally surprised when everyone was really happy for me. HR wants to run an article on me in the company newsletter. So crazy! Usually when they make the announcement that someone is leaving the bank it goes something like, "So and so will be leaving us on July 1st. We wish so and so luck in her future endeavors." Not mine. Nope. Mine started with, "Congratulations!" It felt good to be acknowledged at the bank after seven years of feeling somewhat invisible. It just took me leaving to do it. Ha!
We're very lucky that Disney is paying for my relocation. It takes a HUGE stress off of Matt and I since movers are very expensive. Being able to downsize what we have is actually a really fun process. I love getting rid of the excess in my life and focusing on what I really need.
That's all the information I have for now. I promise I'll update you guys whenever something new and exciting happens.
Out of the blue I received a call from a recruiter for Disney Entertainment offering me a full time job with the Disney Company starting August 2nd. Of course I said, "Yes! Yes! Absolutely! Yes!"
I'll sort of give you the run down of what has been going on since, and what will be going on in the near future.
Just minutes after I accepted the job offer, my email inbox was bombarded with loads of paperwork that I needed to electronically read and sign. A great part was a video from Bob Iger saying, "Welcome to the team." What is my life?! It's so good!
My husband and I have been trying to sell our house FSBO since we found out that there's a good chance that I would get the job. On Saturday we had a showing, and this week we have three. I've had a lot of people inquire about renting or land contract but we're just not interested in that option. We'd consider a land contract if we trusted the buyer, but we certainly will not rent it out to strangers with us being 1000 miles away. I feel confident that we'll figure something out before the end of July.
I have to go down to WDW for onboarding July 28th or 29th. Then a few days later will be my first day of orientation. I'll be going through a "Traditions" class where I'll learn about the company, and then take a tour of Magic Kingdom along with other new hires. My first week of work will consist of me doing some core training for the role I'll be doing. The next week will be more in depth and I'll get to become good friends with a lovely Princess from Arendelle.
If we don't have a solution for the house by the time that I have to start work, I will end up going down to Florida without Matt, rent a car, and live with someone until he can join me. That is our absolute worst option. I really don't like that because it would mean I'd be going through the move without Matt. I think the first few weeks being away from Michigan will be the hardest. I'd really love to have my best friend there to be my support system.
Having to tell the bank that I'm leaving after seven years was actually something I was really dreading. I was totally surprised when everyone was really happy for me. HR wants to run an article on me in the company newsletter. So crazy! Usually when they make the announcement that someone is leaving the bank it goes something like, "So and so will be leaving us on July 1st. We wish so and so luck in her future endeavors." Not mine. Nope. Mine started with, "Congratulations!" It felt good to be acknowledged at the bank after seven years of feeling somewhat invisible. It just took me leaving to do it. Ha!
We're very lucky that Disney is paying for my relocation. It takes a HUGE stress off of Matt and I since movers are very expensive. Being able to downsize what we have is actually a really fun process. I love getting rid of the excess in my life and focusing on what I really need.
That's all the information I have for now. I promise I'll update you guys whenever something new and exciting happens.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Overwhelmed and Overjoyed
I'm laying in bed and I should be sleeping. Instead I'm finally allowing myself let it go and be truly emotional since Tuesday when I got some very big news.
Disney invited me to officially apply for a job with them in Entertainment, and tomorrow I have my phone interview.
I can't tell you how overwhelmed I am by all of this. I'm excited, scared, nervous, so thankful, shocked, overjoyed, and confused.
How did I get here? I don't know how this is actually happening. Despite the fact that I've always had the gut feeling that this is what I'm supposed to be doing, I suppose I let myself believe that there's always a chance that I'd never make it. It's always been my biggest dream. Somehow I'd convinced myself in this little place in my mind that I wasn't good enough. And now I'm trying to fully accept that I actually AM good enough!
All of the tears have been worth it... including the ones overflowing right now as I smile. All of the late nights with my husband talking about my passion for Disney. All of the strange looks I've gotten from some people when they heard me tell them my dream. All of the times I've let my imagination take me away to the moment when I would be told that I actually did it.
And now finally, tomorrow, there's a very good chance that I'll be told that very thing. I don't know how to handle all of this. I mean... it's a dream. You're not supposed to actually achieve them... that's why they're dreams! I'm learning that as cheesy as it sounds, dreams really can come true. I just can't believe it could happen for me.
On top of all of this overwhelmingly joyful feeling, I'm so stressed at the idea of actually moving. It's not the living in Orlando part that makes me nervous. It's not working at Disney that makes me nervous. I just don't know how to get our house sold, pay for movers, find Matt a job, and find an apartment that won't break us... and all in such a short period of time. The cost of living is so different there than it is here in Michigan. The adjustment is going to be tough. I just keep trying to have faith that if it's meant to be, it'll all come together.
Something kinda strange, but I've been thinking about Rapunzel a lot lately. I feel like I relate to her so much more right now than I ever have. Just like Rapunzel, I have imagined what this would be like my whole life. I've done everything I can to get to this point. The part from Tangled that I keep playing over and over in my head is this...
Rapunzel: I've been looking out a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?
Flynn: It will be.
Rapunzel: And what if it is? What do I do then?
Flynn: Well, that's the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.
What do I do once my dream has come true?
Disney invited me to officially apply for a job with them in Entertainment, and tomorrow I have my phone interview.
I can't tell you how overwhelmed I am by all of this. I'm excited, scared, nervous, so thankful, shocked, overjoyed, and confused.
How did I get here? I don't know how this is actually happening. Despite the fact that I've always had the gut feeling that this is what I'm supposed to be doing, I suppose I let myself believe that there's always a chance that I'd never make it. It's always been my biggest dream. Somehow I'd convinced myself in this little place in my mind that I wasn't good enough. And now I'm trying to fully accept that I actually AM good enough!
All of the tears have been worth it... including the ones overflowing right now as I smile. All of the late nights with my husband talking about my passion for Disney. All of the strange looks I've gotten from some people when they heard me tell them my dream. All of the times I've let my imagination take me away to the moment when I would be told that I actually did it.
And now finally, tomorrow, there's a very good chance that I'll be told that very thing. I don't know how to handle all of this. I mean... it's a dream. You're not supposed to actually achieve them... that's why they're dreams! I'm learning that as cheesy as it sounds, dreams really can come true. I just can't believe it could happen for me.
On top of all of this overwhelmingly joyful feeling, I'm so stressed at the idea of actually moving. It's not the living in Orlando part that makes me nervous. It's not working at Disney that makes me nervous. I just don't know how to get our house sold, pay for movers, find Matt a job, and find an apartment that won't break us... and all in such a short period of time. The cost of living is so different there than it is here in Michigan. The adjustment is going to be tough. I just keep trying to have faith that if it's meant to be, it'll all come together.
Something kinda strange, but I've been thinking about Rapunzel a lot lately. I feel like I relate to her so much more right now than I ever have. Just like Rapunzel, I have imagined what this would be like my whole life. I've done everything I can to get to this point. The part from Tangled that I keep playing over and over in my head is this...
Rapunzel: I've been looking out a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?
Flynn: It will be.
Rapunzel: And what if it is? What do I do then?
Flynn: Well, that's the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.
What do I do once my dream has come true?
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Part of That World
Hey friends!
I realized I have not given everyone much of an update on what's going on in my "Disney life." While I can't divulge too much information, I would still like to give friends, family, and my blog readers some insight into what has been happening since my initial audition with Disney Entertainment.
My audition was on March 11th, and 9 days later I got an email from Disney Casting. The email said that they'd like to see more of me for potentially being friends with a lovely Disney lady. I made an audition callback video and sent it to Casting. About a week later, I got an email from Disney saying that I would be ideal for close friendships with not just one, but two popular Disney princesses.
When I had my first audition here in Michigan, I put on my audition form that I would not be able to start work until July or August. My guess is that I wasn't extended immediate employment simply because they would have no idea what positions will be available in 5 or 6 months. It makes absolute sense. I'm essentially just waiting for Disney to give me a call and start the process of getting me down there.
A couple girls that I auditioned with got callbacks as well, and were actually selected to begin their Disney adventures very soon! MaKenzie and Cassi are going to be moving at the end of May, and are even going to be roommates! Both are very sweet girls that will do an amazing job... I seriously have no doubt.
When Cassi had her interview, the interviewer told her that they basically call people based on the start date that they gave to Disney on that form we all had to fill out. Both Cassi and MaKenzie had "ASAP" listed, so I'm hoping that I'll get a call by June with some good news.
Matt and I are really trying to prepare ourselves for the possibility of moving. The tough thing is that without knowing a definitive answer, it's a challenge to know what to prepare for exactly. We do have a home and two pets that we have to think about. Finding an apartment will be more of a challenge with two pets. Physically moving will be more of a challenge with two pets. We already have many belongings that we'll need to take with us. It's not like we're just starting out and are going to buy a bunch of new stuff anyway. We already have everything we'll need to get by, we just need to get it down south. For me, the "up in the air" feeling is the most stressful thing going on right now. It's not even a stress related to the job, it's a stress related to the moving process. I'd really like to get a jump start on it.
I know there are quite a few people out there who have wanted a special life experience with the Disney Company since they can remember. I'm one of them. I have always been drawn to it. Honestly, I can sometimes lack confidence in my abilities and my feelings. But not with Disney. I never have. It's this gut feeling that I just KNOW where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing. And it's a GREAT feeling to know that there's a home and a future just waiting for me.
Thanks so much to all of you for your support and well wishes. It puts a smile on my face daily to think about how many people get me and understand my dreams. Before this journey started, I truly had no idea that there were so many people that believed in me. I sort of always felt I was standing on my own, and just hoping I could someday prove to both myself and to others that I could really do this.
I'll leave you guys with a letter that I wrote in my Disney autograph book when I was ten years old. I was a bit dramatic and missing my favorite place. The result was quite humorous and sweet.
I realized I have not given everyone much of an update on what's going on in my "Disney life." While I can't divulge too much information, I would still like to give friends, family, and my blog readers some insight into what has been happening since my initial audition with Disney Entertainment.
My audition was on March 11th, and 9 days later I got an email from Disney Casting. The email said that they'd like to see more of me for potentially being friends with a lovely Disney lady. I made an audition callback video and sent it to Casting. About a week later, I got an email from Disney saying that I would be ideal for close friendships with not just one, but two popular Disney princesses.
When I had my first audition here in Michigan, I put on my audition form that I would not be able to start work until July or August. My guess is that I wasn't extended immediate employment simply because they would have no idea what positions will be available in 5 or 6 months. It makes absolute sense. I'm essentially just waiting for Disney to give me a call and start the process of getting me down there.
A couple girls that I auditioned with got callbacks as well, and were actually selected to begin their Disney adventures very soon! MaKenzie and Cassi are going to be moving at the end of May, and are even going to be roommates! Both are very sweet girls that will do an amazing job... I seriously have no doubt.
When Cassi had her interview, the interviewer told her that they basically call people based on the start date that they gave to Disney on that form we all had to fill out. Both Cassi and MaKenzie had "ASAP" listed, so I'm hoping that I'll get a call by June with some good news.
Matt and I are really trying to prepare ourselves for the possibility of moving. The tough thing is that without knowing a definitive answer, it's a challenge to know what to prepare for exactly. We do have a home and two pets that we have to think about. Finding an apartment will be more of a challenge with two pets. Physically moving will be more of a challenge with two pets. We already have many belongings that we'll need to take with us. It's not like we're just starting out and are going to buy a bunch of new stuff anyway. We already have everything we'll need to get by, we just need to get it down south. For me, the "up in the air" feeling is the most stressful thing going on right now. It's not even a stress related to the job, it's a stress related to the moving process. I'd really like to get a jump start on it.
I know there are quite a few people out there who have wanted a special life experience with the Disney Company since they can remember. I'm one of them. I have always been drawn to it. Honestly, I can sometimes lack confidence in my abilities and my feelings. But not with Disney. I never have. It's this gut feeling that I just KNOW where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing. And it's a GREAT feeling to know that there's a home and a future just waiting for me.
Thanks so much to all of you for your support and well wishes. It puts a smile on my face daily to think about how many people get me and understand my dreams. Before this journey started, I truly had no idea that there were so many people that believed in me. I sort of always felt I was standing on my own, and just hoping I could someday prove to both myself and to others that I could really do this.
I'll leave you guys with a letter that I wrote in my Disney autograph book when I was ten years old. I was a bit dramatic and missing my favorite place. The result was quite humorous and sweet.
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