Like a ton of bricks, it hit me. Just now.
In two weeks, Matt and I will be picking up our lives and moving 1,100 miles away. It seriously just totally and completely set in that this is really happening. To be honest, I'm not liking it.
I don't have some huge fear of moving. I don't have a fear of this new job with Disney. I am experiencing total heartbreak that I'm leaving behind my family, and I have no idea when I'm going to see them next. It's selfish of me to ask my mom to come see me once a month, but that's really what I want to say. I want to tell everyone to just relocate down there as well so I don't have to be without them. I'm really going to miss seeing the people I'm closest to every single week.
Up until now I was just thinking about how I'm more worried that people will be without me. I have been telling myself that I know I'll be okay and handle everything just fine. That it's everyone else I'm worried about. Now that isn't really the case. I don't know when I'll start to get time off at work to be able to fly back home. I might have to go without seeing some family until next year. That's just really hard to swallow. I seriously give credit to military families that go through being apart all the time.
I have been really trying to push my emotions down to make it easier to handle everything else that is going on. Just the past few days I've been forced to come face to face with the emotional aspect of moving away. I'm leaving my job of 7 1/2 years. Leaving my house that I've lived in for 7 years. Leaving the only little city that I've ever lived in. I know that I'm gaining so much by moving to Florida, but I can't help reflecting on how much life is changing for Matt and I.
I'm very thankful that we get to spend a week in Florida with Matt's parents and my mom. This will be a nice way to transition into a new life. Aside from getting Matt and I settled, we're all going to be able to do some fun things together. I can't wait to drive around the area and see things I've never seen before. "Look at the stuff. Isn't it neat?"
My six year old niece and I had a heart to heart the other evening. I told her that I'm really going to miss her when I'm in Florida, but that she can come see me and I can come back and see her. Then she tapped me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear, "But, Aunt Stacey! You know what? We can Skype!" In that moment, her little voice made me feel so much better and filled me with hope that it will all be okay.
Well... until next time. "TTFN, Ta-ta for now!"
You are a big girl, it's time to move to a bigger and better place with so much more opportunity.
ReplyDeleteChicago has afforded me more than any small town could. You will rock it out.
Not gonna lie, it's a hard pill to swallow. I went through phases trying to mentally prepare myself. There were days where I couldn't imagine leaving everyone back home and then there were days when everything was right in the world and I was content and happy. Now that I'm down here? It's slowly getting better. You have Matt which is awesome!! :) I'm here with mom which is cool but it's a struggle which I'll get into another time :) But honestly? i know this was meant to happen. The work days have been flying by and I'm loving every minute of it (yes it's only been a week). I've had one or two cry fests when I look at photos or see friends going out and having fun without me back home but this was meant to be!
ReplyDeleteThat is such a huge move for you - it's a big deal! You're feeling all kinds of emotions but you know it's the right next step for your career. I mean, working for Disney is my dream too! But enjoy the time you have in your home town before your next big adventure begins. :)
ReplyDeleteI went through similar feelings when I went away to college (a million years ago...ha!) I didn't have a car so I couldn't just go home whenever I wanted. It was rough in the beginning but honestly, you get used to it quicker than you'd think. You'll be so busy with work, new friends, new places that after a while, it really won't be such a big deal. I went through it again when I lived in California. As long as you have Matt, you'll do fine. I promise. Disney World will definitely help. (Disneyland helped me a lot!)
ReplyDeleteI just happened to find your blog through instagram and wanted to tell you how much you inspire me... I am in my mid-20s and am married with a career but I have always dreamt of working as a face character at Disney. I never had the courage to pursue it but recently managed to go to a character lookalike audition. I made it all the way through, read lines for the camera, etc... just nervously waiting to hear something back! I was worried because the other girls were mostly teens and I felt maybe I missed my opportunity years ago.... but reading your stories gives me hope for myself as well. I hope I someday can live out the dream as you are! Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, my name is Aly, instagram @alyszuch. It would only allow me to post on hear as anonymous :)
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